


For The Girl in The Band

by holyaquaria



Series: For The Girl in The Band [1]
Category: Craquaria - Fandom, RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2019-07-05 20:17:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15871005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyaquaria/pseuds/holyaquaria
Summary: Brianna is a small town girl who hates anything that isn't home. Aquaria is the lead singer of a currently touring indie rock band. When Brianna finds herself concussed, on board the tour bus, and all caught up in Aquaria's playboy drama, she develops feelings she has no idea what to do with.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first Ao3 pic thanks to everyone on tumblr who told me to get it! Thanks to everyone who liked my writing and all the support i've been given, it means the world. Enjoy!

Brianna isn’t the biggest fan of concerts to begin with. She had never entertained them before that night when Monet begged and pleaded at her door step to come. One Night in Miami, the event had been called and Brianna could not have dreamed for anything less. One night was far too long to spend around that many people, around that much loud music. One minute she was stood in the hallway of her parents’ house in a nightgown and slippers, and the next she was wearing an unbreathable black dress stood at the bar and gripping onto Monet for dear life. It had all happened so fast, persuaded by the notion that Brianna always missed out on things because she was far too lazy to attend. Monet could not have been more different than the young blonde, thriving independently from social interaction and living on her own two miles away on the outside of Seattle. They had only been friends because Brianna drove to pick her friend up from a party that Monet happened to be at. She threw up in the back of Brianna’s car on the other friends lap and slept in Brianna’s bed. They’d been there for each other ever since. All of this had more than lead up to the night of the concert, the night that would change Monet and Brianna’s lives forever, and the night that would ensure nothing was ever the same again.

“So, why are we here?”

“We’re here to see Excalibur.”

“I don’t know who that is.” Brianna sighed, taking her drink from Monet. “What’s this?”

“Doesn’t matter, Brianna, stop with the questions.” Monet gently touched her friends face. It saddened her that Brianna had to be forced to enjoy herself but saddened her even more that Brianna had not long entered her twenties and had no memories, and no stories to tell. 

“You look so pretty.” Monet smiled. “Just enjoy your night.”

Brianna sighed and looked back out into the crowd she had just came from. Everyone had already grouped together at the centre of the stage, all sweaty and congregated. It wasn’t her place to be here, she thought, suddenly experiencing another calling for home.

“There’s a band on tonight I think you’d like.” Monet suddenly brought up, pulling out the concert flier. She un-crumpled the piece of paper that had been in her jacket pocket for days and pointed at a name that stood tall directly in the middle of the page.

“Age of Aquaria?” She asked.

“Yeah. They’re kind of indie punk.” Monet replied. “I think you’d like them a lot.”

This did not increase Brianna’s desire to stay even microscopically. Her drink tasted like gasoline and the chanting had begun. The smaller woman leant her head on Monet’s shoulder and sighed again.

“Come on, beautiful.” The woman chuckled, snaking one arm around Brianna’s waist. “try and enjoy your night. After this, we can go Chic Fil A.”

This notion held Brianna over the night until they had pushed themselves the front of the venue and managed to grasp on for dear life at the barrier. Monet had been dancing and enjoying herself with every other person in the entire world that night, and Brianna supposed she felt more alone than ever. It felt like the room was divided, and she was on whatever side was having less fun and only wanted to go home.

“Hey, Bri!” Monet shouted down the girl’s ear. “It’s that band you wanted to see!”

Brianna, who had been moping over the barrier like a small scolded dog, glanced up to see a black-haired woman fill the stage with her band and a small stand of guitars. Suddenly, she stood correctly and was interested. Suddenly, she cared. This girl, whose looks the whole band could rely on, was the most beautiful person Brianna had ever seen. She was a tallish build, with a long, dark face that was both handsome as it was delicate. And the way she carried herself, Brianna could not believe everyone in the room that night wasn’t there just to see her.

“You guys are fucking beautiful.” She moaned into the mic. Her voice was deep and raspy, and sounded to Brianna the way kisses felt. It was not often she was affected by someone, but it was easy to say that she was simply enthralled by the woman before her. Everything about her just filled the room. “We are Age of Aquaria.”

The music she played didn’t matter much to Brianna. It was enough to watch her dance around the stage and strum on her purple guitar, breathing her words and giving the crowd what they came for.

“I wanna see you go all kind of crazy tonight.” she breathed again, gripping the mic with her left hand and keeping the neck of her guitar in her right. Brianna had heard about the phenomenon many times before, how you can see someone and know your life is going to be different forever. She never imagined it would be like this, however, with thousands of different people but feeling like the only person in the entire world.

The train of thought Brianna had created in her mind about the mystery that danced and swayed in front of her was cut short when Monet grappled her arm. The larger woman even leapt out to her side in an attempt to stabilise the small girl, but it was already much too late. Brianna had already taken the punch to the face and was lying flat on the ground, wondering what just happened. She didn’t remember much from that point, only the pattern on the stars in the night sky and the vague sense of throbbing around her temples and nose. All of this clouded her memory, along with Monet’s pleading to make room.

“Brianna, are you okay?” She heard over the screech of the crowd. “Oh God, she’s bleeding! Get security! Get someone, fucking quickly!”

“Is she okay?” Aquaria had stopped the show and had since climbed up onto a speaker to see out into the crowd. She would be lying if she said she had not noticed the girl standing in the group of dancing maniacs, doing not much but standing still. She was pretty, yes, but was even more pretty now with her nose bloody and tears on her face.

“Get her out!’ The taller girl screamed from the stage. “Get her out! Make some fucking room, get her out!”

The small blonde, faint as she was, was easily hoisted over the shoulder of the barrier security and was dragged away, pushed and shoved through four different large men.

“Hey!” Aquaria shouted again. “Don’t push her. She’s fucking hurt. No-one gets treated like that at my shows.”

The dark-haired girl stepped down off the speaker in time to see Brianna walk in the arms of much taller man into the under area of the stage. She was left in the remnants of the girl’s presence, wondering if she was alright and wondering if she would ever see her again in equal amounts.

With Monet back in the crowd, Aquaria tried to let the moment go and tried to keep up her act. She persisted with the fact that she had done all she could do and the girl just off hand would be fine. The images of the girl she had just saved consumed her, she had been so beautiful and so concerning. Her disorientated face as she had been yanked from her surroundings. It was all Aquaria could think about. She couldn’t play, and she couldn’t even think about her words. So much of that room was Brianna now.

“Aqua!” Kameron spoke through gritted teeth, prancing over with her guitar in hand. “You’re fucking everything up for us. What’s going on with you?”

“Kam, I gotta cut this short. I’m sorry.” Aqua covered her microphone and ducked under her guitar, placing it on the floor.

“Aquaria, stop!” Kameron shouted for her as she ran off, waving to the crowd. She knew the band would have no idea what to do without her, and to be honest, Aquaria had no idea what she was doing either, driven entirely by passion.

“Woah, woah, Aqua.” a man leapt from the wing and grappled the woman who immediately struggled to be free. “You’re supposed to be on stage.”

Aquaria didn’t even look to see who it was holding her down, knowing that each second she was stood back there was another second of this mysterious girl slipping through her fingers.

“I need to see that girl that just left. Let me go.”

“I’m sorry, you’re booked to perform for another half hour. You need to finish the set.” He came again.

“Let me do what I’m fucking doing.” She shook him off with force and barged her way across the stage, letting everyone in a small radius knowing she had something to do and somewhere to be. Brianna stood at the very corner of the backstage area alone, and when Aquaria caught sight of her, the entire world stopped around her. The whole world reduced to that room, and to that moment. Aquaria earnestly had no other intentions in the world.

“Hey.” She smiled, gently as not to startle the girl. “I saw you get pretty bashed up before. Are you doing okay?”

“Were you the one that hit me?”

“No.” Aquaria chuckled. “I was performing, actually. I didn’t think I could let you go home without a sincere apology.”

“Oh.” Brianna sniffled, moving the bloody tissue under her nose. “Well, I’m okay. I’m apparently concussed, whatever that means. I don’t think I got hit that hard.”

“Your bloody face says different.” Aquaria shoved her hands into her pockets, only to have to remove them quickly to catch Brianna as she gently stumbled forward.

“I feel a little dizzy.”

The blonde smelt like vanilla and good ideas, Aquaria thought. There was the immediate impression that when she wasn’t suffering a head injury, she was a sensible girl who looked after her friends, and who had no idea how to act without them.

“Come on, let’s get you some fresh air.”

For years after this incident occurred, Brianna was more than glad that her concussion was all she could think about. If she’d have put any thought to the way Aquaria was holding her, the way she kept touching her by accident as they walked side by side, the world would’ve fell apart around her.

Aquaria had lead Brianna outside to the smoking area where no one was stood, and where the flood lights held remnants of cigarettes long smoked and conversations long had. The small blonde took her designated space on the little brick wall, feeling sickness wash over in two separate waves. She had no idea what time it was, or what time it had been when she arrived, but did know that the sky had long turned black and the night was coming alive with a strange elegance. She could feel this even through her illness.

“Here, let me get that.” Aquaria sat on the floor with a cigarette in one hand, reaching for Brianna’s bloody tissue with the other.

“You smoke?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Brianna replied, making Aquaria giggle. “What’s your name?”

“Aquaria.”

“That’s a strange name. Is it real? like from your parents?”  
“Yes, it’s real.” Aquaria laughed again. “What’s your name?”  
“Brianna.”

“That’s a really pretty name.” Aquaria suddenly sat up on her knees to be closer to the girl’s face. Her eyes were deep set into her circular face, and her cheekbones were set high. She looked like a model under the lights, Aquaria thought, and nothing was nearly as pretty as she was right now.

“Thank you.” Brianna sighed, allowing one of her hands to rub her temple. “It was the most common name in Seattle the year I was born.”

“Oh, so you’re from these parts?”  
“Yes. You’re familiar?”

“With Seattle?” Aquaria questioned, removing the tissue from under Brianna’s nose. “You should be alright now. Yeah, I would say so. I’ve been a couple of times with this band, a little more with the last.”

“The last?”  
“Well, before this whole thing, it was just me and Kameron in my dad’s basement, travelling back and forth between Seattle and Pennsylvania to do local shows.”

Brianna noted how Aquaria’s eyes lit up when she was talking about her band, and how noticeably from the outside she loved what she did.

“That’s really interesting.”

“it’s a fine fact.” Aqua watched as Brianna tried to remove the dry blood from across her face, probably wondering how it had gotten there in the first place. “So, tell me, Brianna, what do you do?”

“I recently quit my job.” She sniffled. She felt disgusting, honestly. But Aquaria was looking at her with such delicate precision that was undeniably comforted by the moment they were sharing. “I was a secretary. A secretary to the CEO of a clothing company. It was bad, and I wanted to have the best summer of my life, so I quit.”  
“Sounds like a bold move for a girl like you.” Aquaria rested back on the wall.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Brianna gently shoved Aquaria’s shoulder in a giggle.

“Nothing.” Aquaria smiled. “You seem very reserved. Even before when we were on stage, you weren’t dancing round like your friend….uhm…”  
“Monet?” Brianna asked.

“Yeah, I think so.’  
“She’s a lot livelier than I am.” Brianna sighed again, as if she had faced this occurrence many times before, and as if she was about to have Aquaria ask for Monet’s phone number instead. “We’re very different people.”  
“You don’t see yourself that way?”

“I’ve never told anyone this before, but I envy Monet for everything she has ever been.” Brianna watched her fidgeting hands writhe about her lap. “She says everything right and could have anything or anyone she wanted out of life. She’s beautiful, and she’s charismatic. I would kill to be like her.”

“Hey.” Aquaria smiled softly. She clambered back up onto her knees between Brianna’s legs, and moved a strand out of hair out of her eyes. “You’re a lovely girl, Brianna. I think you have more than enough charisma to get what you want out of life, who you want out life.”

“I feel like I’ve known you my entire life.” Brianna accidentally sighed, in the intensity of the room. They would have kissed, as the universe no doubt had planned, if Kameron had no abruptly swung the door open and sighed at the girls who sat no more than four meters away.

“Hello stranger.”  
“Hey, Kam.” Aquaria coughed, getting to her feet. “Good show?”

“Shut up, Aquaria, you asshole.” The other woman laughed. “Come on. It’s tour bus time.”

“Wait, Aquaria.” The blonde suddenly grabbed for the other woman’s hand. “Don’t go. Stay in Seattle with me.”

Aquaria chuckled looking at the girl who clung onto her hand as if her life depended on it. She wasn’t one for settling down, and perhaps it was the strange turn the night had taken, but it is Aquaria’s largest regret that she did not agree to stay in Seattle that night. Things could have been so different for both of them.

“You know I can’t do that.” She laughed.

“Bring her with. We can just drop her off tomorrow. God knows we’ve got enough time on our hands.” Kameron butted in, crossing her arms and leaning in the doorway. It was not often Brianna got chances like this and was ready to cling to anything that gave her the idea of joy.

“Don’t walk away without me.”

“Okay, Brianna, come on.” The taller girl pulled up her smaller component and began to walk back through the building. “Do you need to call someone? Monet? Your parents?”

“No.” Brianna answered. “They trust me.”

“One night with ‘Age of Aquaria’.” Kameron chuckled. “We could have sold something like that in the newspapers.”

The tour bus sat cool in the parking lot of the venue. It was nothing like Brianna had ever seen before in her life. She had heard about things like this in magazines, and in books, but never imagined it could be happening to her on a Thursday night in the middle of her hometown.

“Mind your step, sweetheart.” Aquaria kept tight hold of the blonde’s hand as Brianna followed Kameron up the steps and onto the bus. The sad knowledge that she would have to go home tomorrow, and the pair would be left on a light romance brought the night to its bittersweet ends.

“Vixen, Asia.” Kameron announced as the shorter girl stumbled aboard the bus. “This is Brianna, Aquaria’s new wife for the evening. She got punched in the face and now Aqua is indebted to her forever.

“Kameron, shut up.” Aquaria snapped, playfully. “She had nowhere to go and I couldn’t leave her at the venue.”

“And I have a concussion.” Brianna interrupted, causing Vixen to stifle a laugh from her position on the couch just diagonal.

“And she has a concussion.” Aquaria repeated. “I think we’re ready for bed.”

“You do this every tour.” Vixen sighed. “I give it less than twenty four hours.”

“I’m being helpful.” Aquaria excused, pushing Brianna through to the bedroom just in time to not hear the other girls reply to the statement. Her room was messy, and her bed unmade, but the current state Brianna was in had Aquaria believing that she couldn’t have cared less, and just wanted tonight to be over.

“If you need me, I’ll just be on the couch outside.” She watched the girl clamber into the bedsheets without hesitation. Aquaria’s heart was beating out her chest just watching her, she began to wonder if everyone else on the bus could hear it thumping her ribcage down.

“Aquaria?” The blonde came quietly, just as the other girl was ready to leave the room.

“Yes?”  
“Thank you for saving my life.”  
“I wouldn’t go that far.” Aquaria laughed.

“Just say you’re welcome and stop interrupting my sleep.”

“Okay. You’re welcome. I’m sorry.” She held back a laugh and left the room, leaving Brianna sound asleep in her bed. That night, Aquaria couldn’t remove the thoughts of Brianna. They stained her entire thought process, and left her there, on the middle of a tour bus at 4am on a Friday morning, just begging for something more to come of it, even if no one around her believed it was going to last.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this on the floor of a train station in Glasgow. It’s long and boring, but oh well. Enjoy.

Brianna awoke the next morning to the smell of food filling the room. In all honesty, she had no idea where she was, indicated to conclusion only by the photo on the nightstand. Here, Aquaria sat curled into the lap of a familiar face Brianna had no doubt met the night before. She was sat making stupid faces at the camera but was still so beautiful that the butterflies in Brianna’s stomach could barely handle it. It was without a doubt the perfect picture, and the blonde just about resisted tucking it into her bag for keeps. She couldn’t say she was exactly clear on what had happened that fateful night, or what was happening now but could be certain on one thing. Aquaria. The name rang in her head like alarm bells, or the siren just outside of a lighthouse. Aquaria. Aquaria. Aquaria. What a name. What a girl. Brianna could remember immediately every single good thing about her. The way her eyes lit up when she got excited, or the way she made the stage her own when she wanted to. Everything about her was beautiful, and Brianna could feel that all around her.

Aquaria watched in feigned anticipation as Brianna poked her head around the door to see the living area of the tour bus. Here, the taller girl slaved over breakfast as she had not done since the last time a girl had graced the tour bus with her temporary presence.

“Good morning, sleepy head.”

“Aquaria.” Brianna croaked, as if she had found something she’d been looking for.

“It’s nice of you to join us so late in the afternoon.” A voice came from the outskirts.

“You haven’t been properly introduced.” Aquaria grappled onto Brianna’s arm as she left the bedroom and gently let the latch close behind her. In the sitting room area of the tiny space, Kameron sat in a small circle of women, all somewhat centred around the small television that hung between two walls.

“This is Kameron, Vixen, and Asia.” Aquaria listed the girl off. “America’s leading bass guitarist, drummer, and back-up vocals.”

“How do you do, Brianna?” Vixen piped up first. “I’m surprised you stuck around after the night we showed you.”

“How’s your head?” Kameron questioned.

“It feels like it’s got rocks in it.” Brianna groaned, causing Vixen in particular to stifle a laugh. back. The nerves Brianna somewhat skipped out on the past evening were more than being payed for this morning. She could not even measure to be comforted by Aquaria’s hand laying completely flat on the small of her back. Instead, this only made her pertinently aware she was still draped in last nights outfit, hanging off her body like it was trying to escape her.

“That’s a night with Aquaria for you.” Asia chuckled lightly.

“Oh, don’t scare the poor thing off.” Kameron demanded. “You do this every time.”

“Enough from you.” Aquaria laughed, signalling for Brianna to follow her back to a small two-person table just in the back of the bus. “Breakfast? I’ve been making this for about an hour now.”

“Yeah, about last night.” Brianna began nervously, slumping herself down.

“You got punched.” Aquaria shoved pancakes into her mouth hungrily It almost made Brianna giggle. “They took you right to the ground. A crazy crowd, really. It shouldn’t have happened.”

“No, I mean like, when I got back here.” Brianna sighed. “Did we….you know?”

Aquaria stared clueless at the young woman for minutes at a time, eating her breakfast innocently before it clicked and she practically lurched herself across the table.

“No! No, of course not.” She coughed “You were concussed, and God, you could’ve been married, or straight or anything.”

“No.” Brianna smiled. “Luckily, neither of those things.”

She was more than aware the whole situation was a little unorthodox. Had it been anywhere else with anyone else, Brianna knows that she would’ve been terrified. However, she wasn’t. She was right here with Aquaria in a room full of people who expressed nothing but concern for her wellbeing. It was more comfort than she could’ve asked for.

“What happened to Monet last night?”

“I don’t know.” Aquaria answered. “I asked did you wanna call her or your parents last night and you said no. I didn’t wanna go against you.”

“Oh, right.” Brianna replied. “I don’t even know where my phone is.”

“It’s on charge in Aquaria’s room.” One of the girls chimed in from the back.

“Wow.” Brianna gently began to chew on a piece of bacon, covering her mouth to stop Aquaria from seeing her eat. “You really did think of everything, didn’t you?”

“Well, no one else was going to do it, were they?” Aquaria smiled. “I mean, the other three are incompetent and you genuinely looked like you were about to pass away.”

“I feel like death this morning.” Brianna added. She watched Aquaria for how she would cock her head and crinkle her nose in sympathy. When Monet has suggested watching live bands the night prior, Brianna never could’ve imagined it would get her here.

“I put my number in your phone, by the way.” The taller queen initiated the conversation again. “I hope you don’t mind. It’s not every day I get to be friends with a girl who almost died at my gig.”

“I think it’s time someone gave their parents a call.” Kameron approached the conversation, cupping Brianna’s exposed shoulder in her hand. There was an undeniable chemistry between the two, for which Kameron had compensated, but Aquaria had had many girls on that bus, in that bed, at that table and Brianna was the first nice one. She wasn’t about to let Aquaria get inside and ruin things.

“They should be fine, I mean I’ve not been gone that long and- “

“Brianna.” Kameron said, sternly. “Go call your parents.”

As if she had been scolded, Brianna pushed the chair back and stood to her feet, exiting hastily to the other room where she was apart from the other girls and Kameron could take Aquaria on.

“What are you doing, Aquaria?” She sighed, moving the chair slightly out of the way. “Like seriously.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re flirting with her!”

“And so what if I am?” The other girl stood up from her seat. “I can flirt with who I like.”

“No, Aquaria, you can’t. You know why? You always take it too far.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“The last three girls you have had on this bus have taken the exact same bullshit Brianna’s taken, okay?” Kameron explained herself emotively. “Except, Brianna had to come here. She didn’t have a choice but to wind up staying the night and she really fancies you, alright?”

“You’re reading too much into this, Kam, I know what I’m doing.” The dark-haired woman dismissed. As Aquaria made to pace past her bedroom, the sweet volume of Brianna’s voice broke the air.

“I can’t” She came. “I can’t ask to stay with them. I know it’s what you would do but I don’t know when the tour’s over, and I don’t think they’d want me anyway.”

“Aquaria, I don’t think you do.” Kameron started again. Almost as if by reflex, Aquaria raised her hands to stop the talking, air suddenly full of the possibility that maybe Brianna could stay. There was no denying Aquaria delved repetitively into female company but never before had she wanted to keep someone with her like she wanted to keep Brianna. Brianna didn’t just want sex, or even want sex at all. She was easy to talk to, she was good at listening, and she liked Aquaria. It was rare these things came into fruition in Aquaria’s hectic life, and just like Brianna, she was willing to cling to what she wanted.

“Enough, Monet.” The blonde spoke again. “Tell my mom I’ll be home in an hour. I’ll come over and tell you everything later. Yes, love you too. Bye.”

“We’re off!” Vixen’s shout filled the entire bus, causing everyone to turn to her. “Aqua, if you want that girl home, you’d better let us know where she lives.”

Aquaria sat at the table for fifteen minutes without Brianna wondering what she could do about the situation. She thought what it would be like to live with Brianna. How sweet it would to be make her breakfast in the morning, and to come back to her after the show was over and she couldn’t bare to sing another chord. She thought mostly, however, about the saying ‘you know when you know’. She herself knew that she had known Brianna for a night, but since they had known each other, Aquaria struggled to imagine a world in which she ceased to know her. There was so much possibility; it was driving her mad.

“You live in a nice part of Seattle.” Asia spoke as the bus pulled up next to a suburban house just at the end of a cul-de-sac. It was a nice house, Aquaria thought. It was a gentle blue and retained a little porch that carried on the entire length of the house. All of the windows were big and lined with white painted wood, standing grand across the house. It was so different to what Aquaria was used to. Brianna, who had been half asleep under the window looked at her home with a familiar burning. Aquaria could see in her face as she collected her various belongings that she didn’t want to be here. She radiated a yearning for more, a desire to be outside of her home, somewhere unfamiliar.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye.” The small blonde huffed. Aquaria felt like every pair of eyes in the room located themselves on her, skulking out her every movement to see what her next course of action would be. “Thank you guys for everything you did for me. It means a lot.”

“Let me see you in your house.” The girl got to her feet and walked uncomfortably behind Brianna, who nodded in response. Goodbyes, as Aquaria was familiar with them, were passing statements. If this were true, she would have felt nothing when she saw the girl step down onto the pavement. Her heart was breaking, if she were to be honest, and the idea of never seeing the girl again was more than tragic.

“I’m sad to go.” Brianna mustered.

“You know, she’s right.” Aquaria sighed, feeling the loose ends of her hair blow in the gentle summery breeze Seattle had carried. It had been raining the day before, as Aquaria recalls.

“Who?’

“Monet.”

“Right about what?”

“Staying.” Aquaria breathed. “You know you can stay if you wanted to stay. It’s weird, yes, but this whole day has been weird, okay? I’m weird. I really think we could make something work.”

“I don’t think it’s weird.” Brianna said quietly. “I don’t think it’s weird at all.”

“So, stay with me. Stay with the band. You can have the bed, I’ll have the couch.” The dark haired woman pleaded her point. “You said you wanted to have a good summer, so do it. Come with us.”

Brianna’s heart, head, and better judgement begged her to say yes. It was her common sense that egged her to stay, making sure her feet were firmly on the floor and she didn’t give in to the temptation of clambering back up the stairs into Aquaria’s rightful arms.

“I can’t.” She croaked. “I just….can’t. It doesn’t seem sensible, Aquaria, I’m really sorry.”

“That’s alright.” The taller girl understood there was no point in arguing. “I mean, I’m only going to be checking my phone for you, anyway.”

“Hit me up when you’re passing through the city. I’ll be here.” Brianna smiled. Aquaria could only nod knowing that any words that passed her parting lips in that moment would have been a plea to the other girl to stay.

“Thank you again for everything.” The blonde smiled, sadly. “I’ll see you round.”

“See you round, Brianna.”

Kameron waited patiently for Aquaria to walk back in the door, half expecting her to be smothered in Brianna but pleasantly surprised when she walked through the door sad and alone.

“I know that was hard for you.” She smiled gently. “It’s a lot better the way it is. Things could’ve only ended badly.”

Aquaria took Kameron’s words very lightly, registered only by the blurry view she had of Brianna stepping into her front door.

“Other fish in the sea, Aqua.” Vixen sighed. “I thought you’d have learnt that by now.”

“No, Brianna was different.” Aquaria replied. “She likedme.”

“A lot of girls have liked you.” Asia butted in again.

“Wanting to fuck me and liking me are not the same thing.”

“Then, we have very different definitions of liking someone.”

Kameron placed a flat hand on Aquaria’s back, watching her mope gently. There was a second where she began to wonder if perhaps Brianna would have been treated right by Aquaria, or if she could’ve stepped to the challenge. Maybe, just maybe. Aquaria walked back to her table, the bus moving beneath her and her thinking about how all of this was nothing. She would do eleven more shows, spend 3 more months on the road, and come home to a lonely apartment on the lower east side of Pennsylvania. Nothing had stuck with her like Brianna’s sweet memory did. She knew from the second Brianna climbed off the bus that it would fill her long night, and her longer days, and no matter how hard she tried she would always be hung up on the idea of what could have been. You know when you know, and Aquaria knew. Vixen propped herself up on the window, knowing Aquaria didn’t need any more bothering. She and Asia both knew their friend was not a bad person, and still were sceptical about Brianna whilst not denying the presence she no doubt had. She was one of those girls that you think about before you fall asleep, or on rainy Sunday evenings.

Aquaria was hooked from the second they caught eyes in the crowd.

“Guys.” Asia leapt to her knees by the rear window of the bus. “I think you’re going to want to see this.” Aquaria, usually one for drama, didn’t even want to dignify whatever was out the window. She didn’t even care to watch the group congregate and stare. This all remained until Kameron cracked open window, and the noise flooded big and boastful into the room.

“Aquaria!” It rang. “Aquaria! Wait, Aquaria!”

Surely not, the taller girl imagined, snapping her head to the sound. It couldn’t be, and it shouldn’t have been until there she was. Brianna. Brianna standing 5’4’’ in the middle of the road with an ill packed suitcase trailing her every step. Brianna out of breath and shouting.

“Brianna!” Aquaria echoed her. “Stop the bus! I’m coming.”

The girl didn’t even wait for the vehicle to reach its halt, immediately leaping from the steps and onto the pavement where Brianna was rapidly catching up.

“I couldn’t.” She panted. “You didn’t walk away from me last night, so I won’t walk away from you this morning. it’s crazy, and it’s out of character for me but I don’t care, I just-“

“Brianna, be quiet.” Aquaria pleaded desperately, suddenly grabbing Brianna’s face and crashing their lips together in the middle of the road, just meters from the home she had just left. The interaction was both full of need, and a strange sense of fate as Aquaria kept Brianna’s jaw cupped in her hands. Her heart was beating out of her chest, and even as she continued, she became increasingly of Brianna’s body pressed against her. The world was at peace, suddenly, and as the couple stopped to breathe, a simple calm filled the air. if Brianna was staying, Aquaria could ask for nothing more in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s currently 2am and I’m the only one in this hotel room awake. I had so many ideas for this chapter, it was super difficult to condense them but here they are! also, SMUT!

Aquaria knew she loved Brianna much before than she admitted to herself. it had been three days, two hours, and forty-seven minutes since she had kissed Brianna and no one had mentioned it. It was all she thought about these days, and from that she drew the conclusion that she loved the girl. It had been quick but felt real and this had been less than enough for Aquaria in the past and would suffice now. The week started with Aquaria on the couch, and then gradually she moved to be the bed. By the time the fourth day crept up on them, Brianna was sleeping in the crook of Aquaria’s neck and they would kiss at 3am when the world was quiet, and they had nothing else to do. As for the blonde, she was not typical to feelings of affection, and still, her heart sang whenever Aquaria was in the room. They existed in this weird realm of romance that was exclusive to a tour bus that currently traipsed over the east sections of Oregon. As things stood, there were another 10 days until Aquaria had another show to play at. Most of these days consisted of waking up at midday and washing dishes until bedtime, but their first good day together came about a week in.

Aquaria loved travelling, and this she knew from when she was a kid and her father would run her back and forth between local shows. It’s thoughts of this that keep her up on that Tuesday night, watching Brianna sleep next to her. She wondered what Brianna was like as a kid, and if it was an even possible for a person so fully realised to have ever been a child and to have ever been learning. The night was still and quiet, and Brianna was beautiful. What bliss it might be to lean over and touch her face in the pale sliver of moonlight that crept gently in through the rear window. She didn’t even look real. On the subject of travelling, it was never quite real to her that she was always on the road. it had been her dream since she was a toddler, and if she was honest, there were parts of this fantasy that simply couldn’t grow to love. She never saw her parents anymore, she hadn’t eaten properly in two years, and she couldn’t hold down a relationship for the life of her. She was also thinking about what Kameron said about the amount of women she had here, and how Brianna would come out of this hurt. Many girls had slept where Brianna was, but none of them without ulterior motives. Not until now, not until Brianna.

“Aqua?” The blonde girl’s quiet spoke over the air of the night, throwing Aquaria’s train of thought off-guard.

“You’re awake?”

“Now I am.” She yawned. “Stop watching me sleep. It’s weird.”

“Terribly sorry.” Aquaria sat up so her bare back was rested heavily on the wood of the headboard. From this position, Brianna could place her head in Aquaria’s lap and Aqua could gently curl strands of her hair as if it meant nothing at all. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

“You thinking again?”

“Oh, always.”

“Thinking is a daytime activity.” Brianna said sleepily, causing Aquaria to produce a large smile through the dark. It was only then she realised she could feel Brianna’s heart going at a million times a second against her thigh. It was loud, and boisterous and she wouldn’t be surprised if people in the next room thought they were fucking.

Aquaria looked over her shoulder. The little trailer window just behind her had a broken blind that allowed a moonlit view of the little purple car sat outside. They’d rented it for exploring around the states, and never really used it no matter where they went. Aquaria toyed this up in her mind, and suddenly she couldn’t stop picturing Brianna in the passenger seat of her car, or sprawled out across the back section. It was enough for her to move.

“Hey, Brianna?” She whispered.

“I was just falling back asleep, what do you want?” She groaned.

“Come out with me.”

“Aquaria.” The sleepy girl sat up in the dark. The thin covers fell gently off her bare shoulders and draped across her arms. “It’s 2am. What could you wanna do?”

“Come with me and see.” She spoke again, removing herself from the girl. “Don’t even get dressed. Just come outside.”

The couple managed to sneak out the door peacefully, with Brianna still in bed shorts, a bra, and the blue sheets wrapped around her thin body. She didn’t have any shoes on like Aquaria did, and her feet were all muddy and cold by the time they reached the Sedan. It felt like a winter morning when Brianna’s mother would keep blankets in the car for when she was driving her to school, and would have to scrape ice off their car before they left. This was pertinent, but it didn’t make her feel homesick. Nothing ever did around Aquaria.

Even now, as she drove and kept her eyes on the road, Brianna couldn’t help but feel enthralled by her. It wasn’t her words, or her looks, but some magical, ethereal presence she no doubt captured that had Brianna’s senses tingling that night as she reached for the radio dial in the dark.

“It’s not quite a radio.” Aquaria laughed, turning the car onto some grassy side street. “it’s a CD changer I put in after I got bored of Pop music.”

“That’s awful pretentious of you.” Brianna sighed, curling her legs up onto the seat as the car heated up. “What kind of music do you listen to?”

“I like The Libertines a lot, you familiar?”

“Hardly.” Brianna’s eyes fluttered shut in the dark. “They’re British, right?”

“Brit Pop. I’m into all that.”  
“Really? Can’t see why.”

“it was real progressive at it’s time.” Aquaria explained. “Pulp, The Sex Pistols, Blur, you know?”

“Can’t say I do.” Brianna replied again. “I’ve been listening to the same Bon Iver record for the past fourteen years and calling it alternative.”

“You’re funny.” Aquaria smiled.

“There is nothing funny about Bon Iver. It’s depressing and old.”

“No, of course, you’re right.” Aquaria chuckled

Aqua watched her the road as it lead out into the darkness. She had always thought it was weird the way it looked like it went on forever, and if she tried hard, the lines between the road and the sky became completely indistinguishable. Fun when she was little, dangerous now she was driving.

“My dad used to drive me this way when I was younger.” The girl coughed Brianna back awake.

“Did he?”

“Mhm.” Aquaria dignified Brianna’s half-asleep answer. “We were on the way back to our hotel one night and a deer ran out in front of us. It was the scariest moment of my life.”

“Oh my god.” Brianna sat up in her seat. “Did you hit it?”

“No.” Aquaria swallowed. “My dad swerved and I hit my head on the dashboard. I broke my nose, and got out the car and sobbed for an hour on the highway.”

“Because it hurt so much?” She asked.

“No.” The older girl shook her head. “I thought we’d hit it. I didn’t care much about my nose at all.”

Brianna looked at Aquaria for what seemed like the longest time. She never another person to talk so fluently about such a compassionate story, as if it was nothing.

“What are you staring at?” Aquaria suddenly pulled up the car, yanking the handbrake up.

“You’re amazing.” Was all Brianna could mutter. “You’re from a completely different world.”

“Everyone says that to me. I just guess I knew what I wanted to do very early.”

“I didn’t.” Brianna sighed. “I still don’t know.”

“You seem to be pretty put together.” Aquaria answered. “I’d love a life like yours. Tour life isn’t for me a lot of the time.”

“It seems like a lot. You must be tired all the time.”

“I can’t believe you agreed to come with us. Your parents must’ve been so mad.”

“Kind of.” Brianna chuckled. “My mom said I was stupid, that I’d be home in a month when I couldn’t handle it.”

“I hope you don’t go home soon.” Aquaria noticed she was leaning across the middle of the car, trying not to knock the gearstick. “I kind of like having you around.”

The radio in the car had suddenly started playing low French music to which Brianna leapt towards the volume button.

“Is this La Vie En Rose?”

“Yeah.” Aquaria lay back a little. “I know it’s not very me.”

“It’s my favourite song.” Brianna smiled. “I really like it.”

“Me too.” Aquaria smiled back at her. “Maybe not so different after all.”

The rest of that night, Aqua and Brianna clambered out the car and watched the stars from the bonnet. It was a strangely clear night despite the recent surge of rain that seemed to deepen their tour experience. Aquaria had her arm around Brianna’s waist making her feel safe, and the night got significantly less cold as it continued. Aquaria had never done this with a woman she had known before, and had never in her existence felt closer to someone without having to be inside them. It was almost as if the blonde had touched her without even really touching her at all. She didn’t know much about soulmates, or about the spiritual relationship that could co-exist between two people. All she knew that when it hit 4am and she was kissing Brianna pressed up against the wind shield of the car, everything seemed right with the world. Every other mistake had been leaning up to this very moment. It was a sweet evening that only managed to come to an end when Aquaria slipped herself off the hood and began spreading Brianna’s thighs to kiss the soft tissue that resided there. Not wanting to have her first sexual encounter with the best woman she had ever met on an abandoned hill top, Brianna ran her fingers into Aquaria’s hair and asked her to stop with a shaking voice.

“I’m sorry.” Aqua stood to her feet and coughed. Brianna shuffled forward so that her legs were wrapped around Aquaria’s waist and her arms around her neck.

“Just not here.” She whispered. “Not now. I’m not ready yet.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

Brianna pressed one last chaste kiss on Aquaria’s expectant lips.

“Let’s go home. People will think we’ve died.”

No one noticed that either of the girls were gone that night, but it remained the best night of the entire tour for Brianna. She since dreamed to have Aquaria in this way again.

Aquaria proceeded to get what she didn’t know she wanted in the next three days. They were in the middle of Nevada, and had not long pulled up to a small city with which Aqua fell in love and Brianna never remembered the name of. It wasn’t anything gigantic, or life changing. Just a small city crafted of tiny close together buildings and shack houses that bonded over sharing the same washing line. A cosmopolitan little corner of the universe where it seemed everyone spoke broken English and everyone was beautiful. It looked Greece, or somewhere bordering Italy, Aquaria would often think as her and Brianna took to the marble clad streets. At night, as it readily became of their last evening in the city, string lights sent the very city ablaze. It seemed like enough lights to be seen from space, and this, taken with the salty impact of the sea air filled the minutes with a certain paradisiac element. That night, Brianna wore a red dress. One of the long ones that swept the floor and swept everyone off their feet. It made Aqua feel like there wasn’t enough room to breathe. Everyone had wanted to be with the lady in red, but here she was, sat a metre across the table from Aquaria in an Italian restaurant, sharing stories and a bottle of red wine.

“You look amazing tonight.” Aquaria sipped from the glass between her fingers. “Really elegant. Godess-esque, I would even go as far as to say.”

“You don’t clean up so bad yourself.” Brianna chuckled. Aquaria looked down at her frilly white blouse tucked into the black work pants she kept in the bottom drawer of every chest of drawers she’d ever owned. It wasn’t awful, but it certainly wasn’t anything close to what Brianna donned. She was the most beautiful girl in the world.

“To think, a week ago and a bit ago I was dancing to your music and now here I am, drinking wine and calling myself your friend.”

‘Yes, certainly a quick turn around.” Aquaria lit a cigarette. With her bad habit in one hand, and her wine clutched in the other, she looked like a still from some forgotten French film. One of the ones about beautiful women and horrible erotic affairs. She was perfect, and Brianna was besotted.

“It’s perfect here, isn’t it?” Brianna came again.

“Mhm.” Aqua came, over her puff of smoke. “I’d get married here if I was going do it anywhere.”

“You don’t wanna get married?”

“I don’t see the significance.” The dark-haired girl answered. “I don’t think it should matter if you really want to be with someone forever.”

“And if you met the right person?”

“I imagine I’d change my tune pretty quickly.”

In the light from the surroundings, Brianna looked like nothing like Aquaria had ever seen. She’d marry Brianna, if the girl asked. She’d marry her right now.

The Spanish music that played that night was almost powerful enough to drown out the rain that was the fatal end of their magical evening. With no time to make a dart back for the bus, the girls were dragged inside the restaurant from the outdoor area, and watched the rain bounce off the white marble. Brianna was tucked under Aquaria’s arm wondering how on earth the light summer breeze had become a tropical thunderstorm before her very eyes. Then, suddenly, and at all at once, they were laughing at the situation at hand. It was so strange, how suddenly with the rain and the Spanish music, the feeling filled the air and Aquaria couldn’t help but kiss Brianna’s cheek. It was the lightest interaction but had made Brianna so happy that she could’ve died. It would’ve been easy to dismiss Aquaria’s feelings as a matter of course, and yet, they were approaching two weeks in and nothing felt rushed. Everything was perfect, and everything in that evening remained subjective to the way Brianna’s dress swayed in the stormy winds on the walk back to the bus.

Aquaria lay in bed that night thinking about how these two days had amounted to a strange romantic obligation between the two of them. Aquaria knew things in life faded out quickly, but what was happening to her and Brianna was growing every day, developing and moulding into something that she more than cared about. Into something that she wanted to put effort into. And then Brianna walked into the room. It was edging on 1am and all the lights were off, apart from the one behind the girl that lit up her slim figure. She was stood there in nothing but underwear and Aquaria’s Boston t-shirt, rubbing her eyes.

“Brianna?” Aquaria sat up. “Are you alright?”

“I need to know something.”

“What?”

“If I give you everything tonight, are you still going to like me tomorrow morning?”

Aquaria had no idea what she meant and switched on the bedside lamp to see the girl better. All Brianna could do was creep over to the other girl, who pulled the covers back for the blonde to sit in her lap.

“Brianna, what do you mean?”

“I just need to know.” Brianna began kissing the curvature of Aquaria’s jaw. “If I spend the night with you, you’re still gonna wake up tomorrow morning and be happy to see my face. I’ve had the most wonderful couple of days with you, and I wanted to top it off right.”

“I’ll be with you every morning.” Aquaria could only whisper into the girl’s perfumed collarbones, causing her to let out an opium moan of pleasure. “No matter what goes down the night before, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And you want this?”

“More than anything.”

“Okay, Brianna, okay.”

The girl started by pushing Brianna’s body against her own, causing her legs to spread and press her centre against Aquaria’s shirtless torso. She could already feel the light drips of wet through Brianna’s underwear, and her head went dizzy at the very thought.

“You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, you know that?” Aqua asked, beginning to motion a light rocking motion with Brianna’s hips against her own. “I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off you since you got here.”

“You’re making me feel amazing.” Brianna groaned back, getting wetter by the second and feeling the friction of Aquaria’s shorts rub against her open legs. Aquaria left sloppy wet kisses down the neck of the girl only to move her hands down and feel Brianna’s hard nipples protruding the shirt.

“Pull up your shirt for me.” She asked softly. Brianna did as she was told, allowing her perky breasts to bounce free from under her shirt. Aqua never imagined she would be here quite so soon, but wasn’t complaining. Perhaps god was real, and fortune was working towards her, or something silly like that. Maybe what she had with Brianna was just real, she didn’t know.

The blonde’s hairs stood on end as Aqua’s tongue traced her left nipple and her hand toyed with the right. She was so close to Aquaria’s body and couldn’t even see for her own pleasure, heightened only by the idea that any of Aquaria’s friends (who had taken to Brianna with extreme grace) could open the door and see them like this. Fucking at 1am on an old mattress. They would think so different on her.

“You like that?” Aquaria mumbled, switching over.

“Mhm.” Brianna’s back arched and she suddenly let her shirt drop onto Aquaria’s face. The dark-haired girl latched two hands on Brianna’s ass and pulled her underneath so that she lay flat on her back, legs still apart on the covers.

“You’re such a good girl.” Aquaria began to kiss down her thighs, leaving soft little love bites on even softer tissue. “Look at how wet you are for me already.”

“Aqua….” Brianna groaned, already grappling onto the bedsheets. Before she could even do much more, Aquaria had tore off Brianna’s panties and thrown them on the nearest lampshade to be found by an incredibly confused Vixen the next morning.

“You’re perfect. I’ve waited so long to have you like this.” Aquaria spoke, warm against Brianna’s folds, making her wince in pleasure and impatience.

“I’m yours.”

“Say that again.”

“I’m all fucking yours.”

This was more than enough to have Aquaria going hell for leather. She started at the bottom, keeping Brianna’s legs spread with her shoulders, and making shaped with her tongue against the girl’s heat. Nothing was making her feel better than Brianna’s whimpers as she explored, darting her tongue in all directions. The blonde even grappled onto Aquaria’s hair, shoving her face into the mess so that the other girl’s mouth was more than full of Brianna. She was going dizzier now, retained her place on the edge of something.

“You’re doing so well.” Aquaria mumbled, suddenly flicking Brianna’s clit and feeling her jolt beneath her. She was almost screaming now as she sucked on the skin until her whole vagina was swollen and dripping. However, it was only as Aquaria sneaked a single finger in there that Brianna’s whole body convulsed. It was almost as if she was fitting.

“You’re the best I’ve ever had.” She cried. “I think I love you.”

“What was that?” Aquaria teased another finger at Brianna’s entrance. She could practically feel the throbbing around her fingers as she began to move them gently in and out of Brianna’s tight hole.

“I said I think I love you.” She groaned again, almost painfully. “Don’t stop, I think I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum for me.”

As this was said, Brianna let out the beginnings of a scream which was rapidly covered by Aquaria’s hand.  
“Keep quiet for me okay, baby?” Aquaria rode Brianna through the orgasm, keeping one hand on her mouth. The way Brianna came was electric, and sent blood thrashing through Aquaria’s body like one million little tidal waves. She herself could’ve came from the sight alone. Brianna’s frail body completely at her mercy, it was bliss. Aquaria removed her fingers and placed them directly in her mouth, tasting Brianna’s sweetness over and over.

“You taste so fucking good.”

Brianna immediately jumped back into Aquaria’s lap, kissing her and all over her face in gratitude. Aquaria didn’t even realise she was crying from the opulence of it all, or think about the ‘I love you’ that had been left unresponsive. She was at Brianna’s command for the rest of the night, and it’s fair to say nothing productive got done the next day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this entire chapter hyped up on PSL, so there’s that. Thank you guys for all your support on this fic! Get ready for some major angst.

The rest of these days before the show in Miami passed at an unreasonably quick rate. It felt like four more days in bed and suddenly, there they were setting up the Age of Aquaria drum kit and dancing to the sounds of getting ready music in the bathroom. Brianna had been watching patiently as Aquaria did her makeup in the mirror of her ensuite. She stood in the doorway, remembering how each night with Aquaria had been as magical as the last, and her time had been more than proven worthwhile. Everything was good, and all though things couldn't stay way for the girls, they both revelled in the temporary happiness they had found.  
"I can see you watching me." Aquaria chuckled, finishing her eyeliner and blinking aggressively in the mirror.   
"I know." Brianna cooed. "I missed you."  
"It's been a busy day." Aqua welcomed the girl into the room and assisted her ascent onto the side of the bath, which sat snugly against the toilet.  
"How many shows left?"  
"Fourteen?" Aquaria cocked her head sideways. "Something like that."  
"Then it's Paris or bust."  
"Paris or bust." Aquaria sighed and smiled back, placing her hands-on Brianna's thighs.   
Paris had been a midnight idea not long ago, when Brianna was half asleep on Aquaria's shoulder and Aquaria was up watching a movie.   
"I would always liked to have done Paris." The blonde mumbles. "I think I'm too old now to go for the first time. It wouldn't be right to be a tourist."  
"Why don't we go?" Aquaria had suggested. "We could backpack. We wouldn't have to be tourists. We could get stuck into the city, if you really wanted to?"  
"At the end of the tour?"   
"Sure." The taller girl laughed, moving her arm as Brianna sat up. "I have some money in an account back home. We could totally make it work."  
"And if we don't get there?"  
"And if we don't get there then we don't get there." Aquaria smiled. "We come back home and we go bust, you go back to your parents and I go to my apartment and we figure something out."  
"Oh my god!" Brianna jumped up excitedly. "I'm going to Paris! We're going to Paris!"   
Brianna got so giddy that night that Aquaria didn't even have the heart to tell her that she never really believed in the idea. And now here they were, getting ready in a bathroom no bigger than a closet, wishing for more time already.

"I have a little surprise for you tonight." Aquaria mumbled through her lipstick application.  
"You do?"  
"Mhm." Aquaria caught a look at herself in the reflective surface. She used to think she was beautiful, and now she thought of herself as residing in familiarity. She wore the same clothes, and the same makeup, playing the same songs, and looking at the same venue. The only thing that changed was the city and the girl she was sleeping with. The taller girl reached for her perfume, spritzing it and filling the room. It had become one of Brianna's new favourite smells, and it reminded her of the sun setting in Vegas or the feel of cotton pillows against her cheek.   
"You're beautiful." She smiled, standing up to kiss Aquaria's tan shoulder. "I'm going to go call Monet. We can get into the venue when I'm done."  
"Okay." Aquaria smiled. Watching Brianna do anything was bliss enough, but it was her favourite thing to do to watch her leave. Knowing that she would walk back through those doors even prettier than before was excitement Aquaria couldn't contain.

The first half of that night meant the world to Brianna. It started out with a peek around the curtain to see Aquaria taking her guitar out as the crowd cheered her on excessively. It was as if the girl she had known only as a stage presence leapt out of her to command the room. It was the girl she had wanted from the start. The beautiful rebel who made Brianna's legs feel like jelly, and her head feel like a nightclub.   
"You're beautiful." Familiar words poured into the mic. "We're Age of Aquaria, thank you for coming out tonight."  
Part of Brianna wished that Monet had been there and wished that the night was the same as the one just two weeks ago. Oh, how she would relive that evening. She did sometimes in her sleep. Knowing Aquaria had been so fine, she wished she could live it in every different county, in every different language, and in every different way possible. She knew, no doubt, it would feel the same. 

"She's an enigma, right?" Kameron slipped up behind Brianna, grabbing her shoulders and looking beyond her. She was originally against the idea of the blonde coming aboard, but she had come around fairly quickly. It was never said aloud, but they enjoyed each other a lot and Kameron genuinely felt that Brianna's goodness brought about a measure of good in herself also.   
"Sure is." Brianna smiled up at her. "Why aren't you on stage?"  
"I'm not needed until the second song." Kameron replied. "You know, Brianna, at first I thought Aquaria was too much for you. It's no denying she's a handful."  
"She certainly is." The blonde chuckled.   
"But she's acting well. I think she might really be into you."   
"I hope so." Brianna sighed. Aquaria smiled at her from the centre of the stage, hunched over her guitar. "I love her."  
"You do?"  
"I think so." The shorted girl spun around to face her much taller counterpart. "Do you think it's too soon?"  
"I think you guys did everything too soon, too intensely." Kameron chuckled, and looked over Brianna's shoulder. "But, saying that, I've never met a person who didn't love Aquaria. She's one of those Manic Pixie Dream girls things, or something along those lines."  
Whilst Brianna disagreed, she daren't speak about against Kameron. She had known Aquaria much longer. Brianna could only hope that things were just different this time. 

As for Aquaria, the music she had behind her seemed to flow perfectly that night, as if made from silk. She was strangely satisfied with everything that had been played, and the crowd erupted into persistent roars of reassurance. She was completely and utterly happy as she never was on stage. Perhaps it was because every time she looked into the right-hand side of the crowd, she saw Brianna. Brianna as she was two weeks ago, miserable and smiling through her desire to go home. The blonde had told her undeniably that home used to be her favourite place on earth but had now only managed to scrape second place. Aquaria's arms were the first, as comforting and safe as they were. She used to love nothing about being away from all her creature comforts but had challenged this with a strong will power that was belt buckled by passion alone. Aquaria felt as if she had played a more than vital role in the revival of Brianna, and this gave her some boastful confidence in the matter. She, however, was pertinently aware that this somewhat made Brianna dependant, and that it was no secret how Brianna had needed her more. The dark-haired girl more than ignored this fact on several occasions. It played on her mind only occasionally, one of these moments being the appearance of a tall ginger woman who brought Aquaria water after she finished her fourth song. They shared a simple touch, perhaps even a gentle touch of the fingers. This was all it took to have Aquaria thinking about Brianna. How she needed her, how bad they wanted each other. It was strange, she thought, how a simple action could define a whole evening, and she didn't even know it would. Even Brianna thought nothing of it at the time. Her only thoughts were how well Aquaria was playing and how attractive she was, even when she wasn't trying to be. 

At the penultimate moment of their evening, as the moong hung bright and big over the venue, Aquaria narrowed in on the mic and caught Brianna's eye for the last time. The air was cool and made the sweat on the nape of her neck send chills across the length of her spine. This was her favourite view by far. The whole crowd, tuckered out and waiting for one last sing along. It was something of dreams.   
"There is someone special in this crowd tonight." she panted, feeling the beads of sweat trickle down her face. "Someone I wouldn't have met if it weren't for this tour, and if it weren't for people like you coming to see us perform."  
Brianna pushed gently to the front of the crowd to grasp the barrier, eager to see Aquaria up close as she rambled on about her.   
"This song taught us both that our differences are happily put aside, and I just adore her." Aquaria chuckled. "She's incredible, and this is for her."  
Before Brianna had time to react, the sounds of beautiful French orchestrations filled the sweet and damp air around her. It was as if lightning had hit the room the way her face lit up and stole the show. Aquaria was lit only by a sliver of light that lay across the middle of the stage as she sang the words softly, making every syllable a love song of its own. Brianna could have cried from the opulence. It was the one moment of her existence thus far that she never really wanted to end. 

Aquaria stepped off the stage that night on a buzz and sweating through her t-shirt. Her mind was more than full of the way that Brianna smiled when they played her song. She was beautiful, and nothing else from that night had even came close to mattering.   
"You did well tonight." Vixen dabbed her forehead and walked past the taller girl. "I think you made Brianna's entire life."   
"No, thank you guys for helping me." Aquaria chuckled. "Speaking of, did you see where Brianna went? She dipped before I finished playing."   
"I think she went out back to call someone. She walked that way." Vixen smiled, waving Brianna off. "We're going out for after show drinks, if you're thinking of coming."  
Aquaria looked off into the lights on the stage. She would go back to the bus, hand in hand with Brianna and they would have the most romantic night of their lives whilst everyone else was out. The whole place would be theirs, and she would have more than enough time to show Brianna how much she enjoyed her.   
"No, I'm okay. I'll stay back with Bri. Thanks for the offer, though."  
"You'll be missed." Vixen shouted, walking away slowly towards the other members who had congregated not two steps away. "See you in the morning."  
"Stay safe." Aquaria yelled back. "Don't make too much noise when you come back in drunk."  
Aqua laughed to herself as her friends stumbled off in the other direction. Undeniably, it felt like everything was coming together for them. Her hair was wet through, and her shirt sticking to her, but she couldn't have felt any better if she tried. 

"Aquaria." A small voice arose from the stage door that now swung closed.   
"Oh, there you are- "  
Aquaria spun around to see the voice, only to catch sight of a small red-head in the door way, and not Brianna at all.   
"oh, sorry." she complied. "I thought you were someone else."  
"It's my fault." She chuckled. "I snuck up on you. I'm Rose, I work for the venue."   
"Oh, interesting." Aquaria humoured the girl. "What do you do?"  
"Internship. Nothing much."  
"Which is why you were made to bring me water?"  
"No, that was all me." The girl chuckled, looking down at the floor.   
Aquaria thought about Brianna all over again. How they looked at the floor with the same sweet shyness, and how they both twirled a strand of hair around their index finger.  
"You were really good tonight." She came again.  
"Thank you very much." Aquaria chuckled. 'it's all down to the crowd, really."   
"Have you guys been playing long?"  
"This is our first big scale tour, actually." Aquaria dabbed her forehead with a towel, giving no attention to the notion that this is how the majority of her previous endeavours started.   
She was wildly attractive, yes, but Brianna was here first. This, Aquaria was dead-set on.  
"I never would've known." The girl fastened her hands behind her back, batting her eyelids at Aquaria.   
"No?"  
"No. You guys are amazing." Rose smiled. Her smile was one of those smiles that was the centre of attention wherever she went. It lit up the room of its own accord, and Aquaria stood in its gleam for seconds at a time. "I was wondering, if you wanted to get a drink tonight? I know a nice little bar just off the beach about fifteen minutes away."  
"Awh, I'm sorry. I was planning to just go back to the tour bus and watch TV tonight." Aquaria smiled, politely. This would have worked, had it not been for the immediate drop in the girl's face. Her eyes went bleak and her smile sad as she let out a sad and ugly 'oh.'  
"But, you could come back with me?" She panicked, grabbing the girl's arm. "We could have a drink and wait for Brianna. She's gone to call her parents, but she'll be back pretty soon."

The immediate truth is that Brianna did not come back until much later that night. By the time she had, Aquaria had committed her crime. It began precisely at midnight, when Aquaria was sat on the couch, legs spread, watching Rose turn off the TV by the dial. She hadn't noticed until then, but Rose donned a slim white dress that perfectly held her thighs and made her look like a movie star. All the girl could do was stare at her, thoughts of Brianna trickling away like water down the drain.   
"Stop looking at me like that." The red-head laughed.   
"Like what?" Aqua coughed.  
"Like you've seen a ghost."   
"Oh."   
Suddenly, as if a switch had been flicked somewhere in the cosmos, everything was different. Soft piano music was playing from an old radio on the top of the television set and the woman in white was stepping to Aquaria in the night, like some kind of predator. Before she could register the hunger in her, Rose was in her lap, thin hands around her neck and looking at her with a smirk unlike anything Aquaria had ever seen.   
"Do you like what I'm wearing?"  
Aquaria nodded, having suddenly lost any concept of words. She wasn't thinking of the blonde girl who stood no more than fifteen minutes away, not yet privy to her own devastation.   
"Do you want me to take it off?" She breathed, sending shivers down Aqua's spine. "Or, do you want to take it off for me?"

Aquaria immediately pounced at her lips, leaping to her feet and holding the girl around her waist. There no romance as there was with Brianna. There was no light French music, or murmurs in the night. There were no drives out to the viewing point, or butterflies in her stomach. Just raw, animalistic passion. A passion that had Rose, legs spread and dress by her ankles, on the bed that Brianna slept in. Aquaria had no times for words. She leant in to kiss Rose's stomach, feeling how wet she already was against her shirt and feeling the vanilla perfume in her throat. It was driving her mad. Just touching her through her underwear was blissful insanity. She couldn't even see straight, all she saw was the girl underneath her squirming and moaning.  
"You're making me feel so fucking good." She came, causing Aquaria to lurch forward and kiss her sternum. It hit her the, as one hand entered her hair. Rose looked a little like Brianna when someone was touching her. Thoughts of Brianna came flooding back, and the guilt with it. Aquaria, in horror at the mess she had made, backed up, but it was already too late. There she stood, 5'2'' in the doorway of the bedroom, phone still clutched in hand and Aquaria's hoodie hanging off her tiny frame.   
"Brianna." was all the woman could muster. There was no explanation needed or warranted. The whole thing was exactly what it looked like.  
"Oh god." Brianna spoke, as if she was about to be sick and cry all at once. "Oh god, I can't be here. I need to go."  
The small girl didn't look back as she left the bus, expecting Aquaria to continue with her pleasures, not knowing she was right behind her.  
"Brianna!" She shouted, leaping down the steps into the night. "Brianna, wait! Talk to me."  
"Talk to you?!" The girl cried, spinning around the reveal the tears that stained her small red face. She was an ugly crier, Aquaria noted, but nothing was uglier than what she had done. "I have nothing to say to you, Aquaria, never in one million years did I see you doing this to me."  
"Brianna, I'm sorry, please just listen to what I have to say." Aquaria grabbed at her as she stormed off. To this day, Aqua has no idea how Brianna managed to stop and listen. It was a wonder, and she deserved saint hood for being so patient.   
"Who is she?" The girl wiped hot tears as they came.  
"She's just a girl from the venue. No one special."  
"You cheated on me with no one special?" Brianna's voice broke, and Aquaria's heart fell through. There was a girl in that bus who wasn't half the person Brianna was, and yet Aqua had given them the same treatment, the same pleasure, the same bed. It was disgusting,   
"That's not what I meant."   
"All your friends kept saying you couldn't hold someone down." The small blonde sniffled. "I should've listening to them. I can't believe you let me think I could trust you. I can't trust you at all."  
"Brianna, don't."  
"I just walked in on you with another girl!" The shorter girl shouted. "And after everything I gave you. You make me sick, you promised me you'd stick around for me."  
"Bri-"  
"Would you have fucked her in that bed if I hadn't walked in on you?" Brianna provoked. Aquaria knew the truth, and yet couldn't bring herself to say it to Brianna's tear stained face. The tragedy was too big, and the drama was all too real.  
"Brianna, please."   
"Answer my question!" She screamed, throwing her arms in the air. "Would have you have fucked her in the same bed you fucked me in?"  
"….Yes, Brianna, but it means nothing. She means nothing!'  
"I told you that I loved you." Brianna's voice gave in again. She was breathing softly, and crying quietly, not being able to remove the image of Aquaria and that girl from her mind. The girl was skinny, tall, and prettier than most. Brianna wouldn't have chosen her either.   
"I love you too, you know I do." Aquaria grappled at straws.   
"No! You don't get to tell me that now!" The blonde shouted. And she was right, Aquaria had no claim over those words. They meant nothing, not after what Brianna had just witnessed. She was crying, and Aquaria didn't know how to help her. All she knew was that if she could go back and do everything absolutely differently, she would.   
"Brianna, I'm so sorry." Aqua tried to step closer to the woman, who backed away in response. "I would never ever want to hurt you."   
"But, you did." Brianna snapped. "I hope I never see you again. You have hurt me beyond anything I ever expected from you."  
"I get you're angry-"  
"I am angry!" She shouted. "I'm so angry at you! You have ruined this for me, for us. I mean, what were you thinking?"  
"I wasn't thinking, Brianna, if I had then I wouldn't have done something so stupid." Aquaria pleaded. For a second, she considered if getting down on her knees and begging would help. If it would, then she would've done it. No questions asked.   
"You're right, you wouldn't." The smaller girl sniffled once more, readily realising this argument was below her. "Because if you'd have stopped to think for one second about what you were doing you would've realised that I deserved better than to be treated like that, especially when all I did was lie in that bed and think about how much I want you."   
"Brianna, pl-"  
"You know why I came on this tour with you, Aquaria?" She asked. "I thought I could trust you. I thought you wanted me. But, now I know how wrong I was."  
"I do want you!" Aquaria felt a tear trail blaze her skin. "I want you more than anyone."  
"Don't you dare tell me that with her lipstick smudged all over you face." Brianna spoke through gritted teeth. She was done after those words were spat. There was nothing more to say to the girl who had broken her heart and ruined her summer.   
"I'm going home, Aqua." She closed the argument. "I'll leave tomorrow and stay in Vixen's room tonight. Have her out of that fucking bus by the time I get back." 

Brianna, all teary eyed and full of anger, paced off into the distance to feel the cold air against the lines of tears on her face. It was true how everything can go well and then suddenly one bad thing happens and it's surprising how quick everything can turn to shit. Brianna's world was shaken that night, leaving a scar from which she would never truly recover, and all Aquaria could be was sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for the late update, i've been busy with moving stuff. TW// Drugs and OD

Brianna stayed up and cried the night through. Her sobs took the whole bus by storm. Somewhere muffled into the space between Vixen's neck and collarbones, and some was into a pillow long after Vixen had fallen asleep spooning the blonde. Most however, was loud and abrasive. Aquaria found herself at 3am listening to Brianna's unhinged howls at the moon and crying herself. She knew Brianna well enough to know that she did not love things easily, and yet had sworn until she was blue in the face that she did love Aquaria. To think she betrayed that. It was unimaginable. Now, she was unable to sleep, feeling the weight of the girl she had betrayed beneath her. Every time she closed her eyes, there Brianna was again. Standing in the doorway, one sock rolled down around her ankle, and looking like the world had suddenly caught up with her. It was a devastating sight, more so now than ever. Aquaria was bad, but Brianna was much worse. The entire thing replayed in her head over and over until she couldn't handle it anymore and was sick all over Vixen's carpet. Nothing about this had been grand, or poetic, or worthy of being romanticised. It was the night Brianna learnt that real heartbreak is not something to write about. It was ugly, and revolting, and Brianna was barely pulling herself through the cracks. Paris hurt most. Whenever she tried to close herself into Vixen, she thought about it. She saw fancy open cafés, and rainy walks around the Notre Dame as the night was setting in. She saw subtitles over French movies, French wine in the hotel room, and Aquaria's naked body on the marble balcony above the city of lights. It was all planned out and it had fell out from beneath her. In the simplicity of it all, she was completely devastated. 

The next morning, she woke up with an empty space in her chest. The feeling of finality caved in on her like a deadweight and she didn't even want to imagine facing the girl that was no doubt wandering around the living room.  
"Morning." Vixen mumbled sleepily, not yet opening her eyes. She was lay tight next to Brianna, head very nearly touching the warmth of her shoulder.   
"Morning." Brianna took a deep breath.  
Vixen pushed herself up on her elbow to get a better look at Brianna. She was beautiful even like this, tears streaming down her red cheeks and remnants of mascara cluttering her eye bags. A vivid ray of light was catching her porcelain skin through the cracks in the blinds above the bed, and Vixen was thinking about Aquaria. How could she have done something so horrible to such a beautiful girl? When Brianna had told them they were coming back from their night, walking across the muddy fields in the moonlight. Her tiny stature came bounding towards them, screaming and sobbing. It could've passed for a murder scene.   
"You still crying?" The girl's voice was soft as she ran the pad of her thumb across Aquaria's face to rub the tears away.   
"Mhm." She mustered. "I haven't slept."   
"I felt you tossing and turning all night."   
"I just can't stop seeing it, you know?" She started again, tearing up. "The way they were sat. The way Aquaria was looking at her, Vix, she looked like an animal. It was like something out of a horror movie."   
"I know." Vixen sighed. "She did a horrible thing. You must've been terrified."   
"Brianna." A quiet voice peaked out from the bedroom door. Kameron stood there, clutching the frame as if what the blonde was feeling was tangible and filled the whole room. She was looking at the girl as if she could see it, as if it was sat right on her chest.  
"Yeah?"  
"We drove through the night. You're home. I hope you don't mind, but Asia and I helped back your things. We didn't think you'd be wanting to spend more time here than you needed to."  
Brianna sat up sleepily, letting Vixen's hand slip down her bare back.   
"Thank you guys. That means a lot to me." She breathed.  
"No problem." Kameron replied. "I'll give you a minute to get ready." 

When Brianna left the room she was wearing one of Aquaria's hoodies and her trainers. She probably didn't have much else at hand. At the time, Aquaria was sat streaming tears on the couch by the door, now looking at the girl and remembering how it felt to be with her no more than a day ago. Her eyes were blue and bright as ever, and her thighs coffee coloured, and her perfume still wringing out the room. It was torture just to see her stood there.  
"My parents are gonna tell me they told me so." She managed a sad chuckle.   
"I'm sure they'll be fine once you explain." Vixen replied to the girl who followed lightly in her footsteps.  
"You're right." She smiled. "Thank you for everything."   
Vixen nodded in response. She knew there was no requirement for words, what lingered was enough.   
"Brianna." Kameron came around the corner once again. "I have never built a friendship quite so strong with any of the girls that have come and gone from this bus. If it's okay with you, I'd love to stay your friend."   
"I'd like that." Brianna sniffled, as Kameron place a piece of folded white paper in her hand and wrapped her hands around the girls. "I love you, Kam."  
"I love you, too." The taller girl replied, grappling Brianna is a hug that Aquaria knew she wouldn't get. All she could do was bite her lip and hope this was all over soon. She couldn't even look at them.   
"Let me see you out." Kameron followed the interaction, breathily. Brianna nodded and made a dart for the door, walking confidently in front of Aquaria. There was so much between them now, so much that wasn't there before. They could barely maintain the sliver of eye contact they had conformed to.   
"Brianna." Aquaria even spoke just as the blonde had grabbed the handle. It wasn't warranted as much as it was required. Her name had been building up in Aquaria's throat like bile, and it was only a matter of time. "I'm so sorry."  
"I forgive you." Brianna smacked the door open. She had always made the best peace, and she knew that clinging onto her resentment for Aquaria would do not much more than make her a bad person. There was also still a part of her that cared desperately for the girl, and this was an opportune time for it to show. "But never talk to me again." 

"She's taken my sweater." Aqua got on her knees to watch Brianna fall pathetically into Monet's arms, Kameron rubbing her back like it meant something.  
"Probably to fucking burn it." Vixen almost snapped. Aquaria turned around to see her looking out the opposite window into nothingness. She herself was upset that Aquaria had sent Brianna on her way after all the good she did for the band, for Aquaria's life.   
"Don't you dare." Aquaria seethed. "You don't get to comment on what happened."  
"Really?" Vixen spun her whole body around. "Because I didn't see you crying with her until four this morning? I didn't see you making her something to eat and giving up your bed for her. You didn't do any of that because you're selfish, you always have been- "  
"Vixen." Kameron came back into the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. "Enough."  
"But, Kam- "   
"I know."   
Vixen stormed off into the back of the bus where Asia was hiding from all the emotional conflict. Kameron knew if she'd stayed, she'd have said all the things about Aquaria that were cruel and true, and Aquaria wouldn't have stayed another night.   
"What did you give her?" The dark haired girl asked as Kameron crossed her arms and lead herself to the middle of the floor.  
"My number."  
"Why?"  
"Why, Aqua?" Kameron scoffed. "Because once again, you've broken some poor girl's heart and I'm left to pick up the pieces. Like always."  
"You're being dramatic."  
"Why did you fuck her?" Kameron spat, just as Aquaria was about to leave. She didn't need to be here, Kameron had no right to be talking this out with her.  
"You don't get to ask me that."  
"Why did you fuck her?" She came again, harder. "Why, when Brianna was right there? She was with you."  
"Because she came onto me!" Aquaria shouted, practically leaping up from her seat. "She came onto me, and she was beautiful, and Brianna wasn't here!"  
"She was out calling her parents, Aquaria!" Kameron raised her tone to match the girl. They had never fought like this about anything, let alone some girl they'd both known for just over a fortnight. "She wasn't two fingers deep in some other girl!"  
"That's not what happened." She huffed. "I made a mistake, I know. But, I went after Brianna. I didn't stay with Rose at all. I found Brianna outside and told her that I loved her and that I was sorry."  
"I love you isn't something you say to someone when you've hurt their feelings the girl sat back down, looking off sternly into the distance through the front window of the vehicle. There, stood a street so familiar Aquaria could taste it. She had kissed Brianna there for the first time. There had been many better kisses since then, but it was the first and held a strange place in her heart reserved only for things that felt like sanctuary. She didn't even notice she was crying.   
"Hey, Aqua, look at me." Kameron knelt by the girl. "Aqua, look at me, please."  
When she turned her head, all Kameron caught was a blank glare, something not quite there. It was terrifying, as if something had just switched off inside of her. There was a girl sat on the couch, yes, but Aquaria simply was not there.  
"…..Are you mad at me?" She spoke, entirely monotone.   
"No."   
"No?" Aquaria resonated. "I'm glad. I hope you can understand- "  
"No, Aquaria, I don't understand you." She cut the girl off. "The only reason Brianna was mad was because she had a lot of faith in you."  
"And you didn't?"   
"I want to say I did." Kameron reached for the girl's hand, speaking soft as rain. The harsh approach was clearly getting her nowhere. "You are my best friend and I would love nothing more than to tell you that I did. But I didn't and look where it got me. I was right all along."   
Aquaria's gaze seemed vacant for another minute or two before it caught Kameron's. From this point, she erupted into tears right there into her friend's arms.   
"I did such a bad thing, Kameron." She whimpered into the crook of the girl's neck. It didn't take long for her entire shoulder to be completely covered in Brianna's drool and snot as she sobbed beyond herself. Part of Kameron felt bad for comforting Aquaria, but she had earnestly never seen her so distraught. When other girls would leave, the dark haired woman would put in some headphones and lay down for an hour, but this was all. Their name would never get mentioned after that. She was hysterical now and Kameron barely knew how to handle it.   
"I love Brianna. I want to be with Brianna. I wanted her like I've never wanted anyone the way I want her and I can't even make that work."  
Kameron, now sat on the couch with Aquaria practically curled in her lap, did not see the conversation going this way. In her head, Aquaria was going to punch her and they'd have spent the night in the ER. `Now, she wanted nothing more than to tell Aquaria it would all be fine. What she had done was borderline unforgiveable, however, and she couldn't offer any reassurance that wasn't conditional. Aquaria eventually tired herself out and fell asleep in Kameron's lap. Even she who had stayed strong for everyone, sub came to the tempting feel of sadness. Brianna had left, and whatever happiness she exuded into that place had gone with her.

Aquaria didn't sleep much over the next couple of days. Every time she drops away, suddenly all she can dream about is Brianna. She dreamt vividly of their fight, or how it felt to see her cry, or even how she made love so unbelievably fine. It would cause her to smoke at 6am, and then stay up playing guitar until two the next morning. She was evading sleep in hopes of minimising the time she spent looking at Brianna's body. Every single second was hell. Often, in the hours between, Aquaria would roll over in bed and think about Brianna mercilessly. How had a girl she known for two weeks and a half weeks ruined her entire life? She couldn't stop thinking about how she had hurt her and how that she never deserved a person like her. She didn't even warrant knowing her. By the time three days had passed, she thought Brianna was probably doing okay. She had most likely forgotten all about the whole thing and decided it was time to move on whilst Aquaria's heart was quite rightfully in pieces. She just wanted to be okay. She just wanted to stop crying and to remember who she was. Aquaria hadn't given this much attention to any part of her life since she was thirteen and her parents got divorced. This bump in her life had stopped her playing music and put her career on the backline until she was sixteen and had enough sense to start playing again. This threatening reality taunted her once again, dark and looming in the very near future. She even teetered along the edge of this harsh truth by only playing half her set list at the next gig smack bang on the other side of California. Kameron had started talking to her semi normally again, but Vixen and Asia still couldn't look her in the eyes. It was eating them up, too. Perhaps they too had faith in her that was understandably left unfulfilled, or maybe it was just killing them in the same way it was killing Aquaria. She would not have been surprised if everyone on that bus had fallen for Brianna in the exact same respect. 

Aquaria was no stranger to after-show blues. She used to get them all the time two or three months before the whole ordeal took place. It was sensible for her to think they'd maybe gone away, but here they were again, dominant as ever as she sat backstage. If Brianna was there, they'd have laughed about how Aquaria didn't make it through the whole set list, or how she looked like shit because she hadn't slept. They'd have laughed on the floor and Brianna would've leaned across and kiss Aquaria's lips softly through the dark. The nights that could've been haunted Aquaria. Wherever Brianna was, whatever she was doing, whoever she was telling Aquaria about now, hopefully her life was going better than this.   
Aquaria was sad, yes, but she wasn't stupid. If she was feeling down, she knew exactly where to go to get herself back up. The girl stood up, brushed herself off and walked back onto to the now empty stage. The crowd had withered into tiny groups as the night rapidly formed around them, and Aquaria tried her best to ignore the image of Brianna that manifested on the lower stage. She wasn't coming back. She contemplated this as she scanned the crowd and found exactly what she was looking for. Aquaria had been to many shows before, she knew that if she wanted somewhere to put the sadness, there would be an after party somewhere where she could unload. It wouldn't be full of A-listers, or people that knew what she did, but she wouldn't be alone and she wouldn't be sober. Aquaria sighed loudly on her empty stage, this would do.

She found her means of destination through a boy named Brad who had recognised her from the stage and who immediately could not do enough for Aquaria. He welcomed her into this group and offered to drive them all to the after party in his old Chevrolet Chevette. Not quite as glamorous as she imagined, but it was fine. Aquaria took the first half on the car ride to think about Brianna, and how driving her anywhere felt one million times more luxurious than this. The second half was shrouded in doubt and regret as the man next to her leant over and held his hand out gently.  
"I'm Zack."  
"Hi, Zack." She humoured him. "Aquaria."  
"I'm familiar. We saw your show tonight." He replied. "You must really be going through some stuff to be hanging with low lives like us."  
Aquaria looked at him for seconds at a time. His skin was olive and his hair all black and matted, curled atop his head. He was attractive, even by her standards. Brianna would've eaten him entirely whole.   
"Like you wouldn't believe."  
"I imagine the heavy, impending sadness just comes with being a rock star." Zack turned his head away from the girl. "Like Kurt Cobain."  
"Exactly like Kurt Cobain." Aquaria mocked him, looking back out at the window.   
"If you're looking for a little upper." He began, hushing his voice ever so slightly and leaning into his pocket. What he retrieved was a tiny clear bag, housing only two pink pills no bigger than the size of her pinkie.   
"What's that?"  
"Magic." He giggled, tossing them into her lap. Aquaria picked them up and palmed them, staring down as if she had no clue what was going on. In her entire time on tour, her encounters with drugs had never been quite so close.  
"I can't accept these from you." She pushed them back.  
"Consider it the rock star treatment." He just smirked, somewhat putting her at ease. "Keep them. If you take them, only take half of one. That little bag usually lasts me a month and a half, maybe two."   
"Thanks for the tip." She gave a light chuckle as the car pulled to a stop.  
"Just remember me when you're famous."

The party was at some sort of loft, from what Aquaria remembers. It wasn't exactly noteworthy, but it was a pretty space no doubt owned by the leading member of another smaller band who also played that night. Brianna would've liked it here, she thought. Brianna had an eye for interior design as she had an eye for most things. She would've just adored the wooden furnishings or the use of large plants to maximise space and minimalism. It took three minutes for Aquaria to realise she had been thinking about home furnishings for longer than she was willing to admit. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, it had been doing so since the car ride. 

Asia: Where are you?  
Kameron: Aquaria, tell us where you're at.  
Vixen: Kameron's worried about you  
Kameron: Aquaria, answer your phone  
Kameron: Please

Aquaria stood still in a crowded room, looking up from her phone for a minute and forgetting Brianna wasn't there. She looked for her face only to come to the reasonable conclusion they just weren't in love anymore. With the way she had hurt the poor girl, were they ever? Did it happen because they lived together? Was it a conflict of intensity? What if seeing each other again changed everything? Aquaria suddenly got the urge to see Brianna. It suddenly didn't matter that they were a six hour bus ride away, or that Aquaria couldn't find a way to be sorry enough. It didn't even matter that Brianna didn't care anymore. Aquaria would've walked back to Seattle just to stand under her window and say how very sorry she was. As if by reflex, she spun around to get to the door. She was going to do it. She was going to make things right between her and Brianna. It seemed the least she could do after all the fixing Brianna did for her. This plan was fairly decent, and for the hopeless romantic Brianna was, it might've worked. Might. A figure had loomed in that doorway whom Aquaria had banished from all memories, and for whom she made Brianna suffer. Her body was caped in darkness like something out of a scary movie in which she would immediately jump out and kill Aquaria. She wished that was true. She wished thoroughly that she didn't have to live in this moment, and that none of it was really real.   
"Hi Aquaria." The figure stepped into the light. "it's good to see you with some clothes on."   
The whole thing was terrible, Aquaria thought. The worst part by far was that she was still beautiful. Her face still had the ornate sculpture of a Greek goddess, and her body looked like a dream in her little black dress. Aquaria was undeniably entranced by her, but more distracted by the image of Brianna's crying face that stole her memory. It was like the night was happening all over again.  
"What are you doing here?"   
"I'm an event intern in California." She scoffed. "I'm here all the time. The real question is, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be doing coke in some expensive bathroom or something by now?"  
"You know I'm not like that." She growled.  
"So, come on, why are you here?" Rose teased again, motioning Aquaria to come over with her finger. At this point, she was so enraged with the thought of Brianna's absence and the remainder of the woman who had ruined everything good she had going for her.   
"Fuck off, Rose." She exclaimed, shoving past the girl and storming to the front door through the small crowd of people congregating there.  
"What it is? You're not playing today?" Rose followed her patronisingly.   
"Why did you try and have sex with me?" The dark haired girl spoke as she stepped outside. Her breath was visible as she spoke to the air; a horrible looming feeling that summer was ending quite rapidly. "You knew how important Brianna was to me. I told you all the way back to the bus how I was falling her, and still."  
No, Aquaria." Rose spoke calmly and boldly. "I never tried to have sex with anyone. You took me into you room, you took control. Yes, I initiated things but no one asked you to do anything. You slept with me completely of your own accord. You weren't thinking about Brianna at all."  
"You don't get to speak to me like that." Aquaria had begun shaking.  
"oh, come on." Rose approached slowly, one hand snaking around Aquaria's neck and the other pushing a strand of hair from her face. "It wasn't all bad, was it? You can't have liked Brianna that much."   
"I…." Aquaria stuttered as Rose's soft lips touched the nape of her neck and left three dry kisses all the way to her collarbone. "I loved her."  
"So, why are you stood here with me?" She mumbled, listening to Aquaria's pretty little whimpers and continuing to nip at her neck. "Why aren't you chasing her? Because she left. She's not here anymore. Live a little, Aquaria."  
"What if she knows I slept with you?" The girl moaned, tipping her head back to give Rose more leverage. She knew what was happening was bad, and that its moral influence would guilt her for days afterwards, but this didn't negate the feeling of pleasure. Her whole body was tingling, her face was numb, she wasn't even thinking about Brianna.  
"She doesn't even have to know, baby." Rose kissed Aquaria gently, letting Aquaria sit in the moment before yanking her forward and turning their kiss passionate. It was bliss, Aquaria was sure. Rose's body felt so good pressed against hers, her thigh shoved in-between Aquaria's separated legs. Aquaria was seconds away from tears already. Rose let her hands wander down, gently squeezing Aquaria's ass to which she let pretty words tumble from her mouth. Except, to her, it wasn't so beautiful.   
"Did you just say Brianna's name?"   
"Uh.." Aquaria whined as the redhead backed up. "I can't do this. I'm sorry."

Within seconds, she had left Rose feeling very confused and very disappointed. By the time Rose even started to leave, Aquaria was already upstairs slamming the bathroom door shut and crying against its hardwood pattern. Brianna was gone for seconds, and now here she was again, big and demanding. For such a quiet person, it was strange how Brianna almost commanded that she was felt. To think there were other people in the world who had loved her for longer and lost her harder, and how bittersweet this must've been. The girl scrambled to the counter, throwing out the tiny bag of pills and looking at them with desperation. She was just hoping it would make it better. Hoping it would help her out. Hoping it would take the pain away so that for at least a minute or two she wasn't thinking about Brianna's face looking up at her from among the bedsheets. She didn't have time to get a drink, she was exhausted and wanted done with now. Aquaria shoved both tablets into her mouth, immediately turning the tap on and gulping water from her cupped hands. She looked disgusting. Mascara streaming down her face, water running down her chin and pooling on her chest. She had no idea how long she stared at herself in the mirror. It must've been about fifteen minutes of reminding herself how hated she was, and how terribly she had acted. How hurt Brianna must've been. It was only as all these thoughts came flooding back that Aquaria touched her face and felt the blood trickling down her nose. Suddenly, she couldn't feel her head, or hands, or feet. If these were her last moments, she was terrified. It was an hour before anyone found her that night, on the floor of the bathroom and the sink overflowing onto her unresponsive body.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I’m back from my VERY long break and had some time after uni to throw this together. Sorry about where I left you all last time, hope you can forgive me :)

It was not easy for Aquaria to live after her crime had been committed. When she woke up, she was being held by a man in a large green shirt who more than insisted on checking her vitals. Immediately, she knew what had happened, and sobbed in his strong arms. For once, it wasn't about Brianna. It was about her integrity. Her band wasn't exactly famous, but if word got out that she overdosed at a stranger's house party, then they never would be either. She would let everyone down. Especially Kameron, who had been a guardian to her the entire time. She would be devastated. Her heart; broken on the floor of their one-story tour bus. Alas, as sudden as it wasn't about Aquaria, it was again. This would readily become the reason they wouldn't talk. In fact, Brianna was probably at home asleep in Seattle, the whole event unknown to her yet. Perhaps she would never find out. Maybe they would never speak again, and the poor girl would never have any chance to find out. Either way, Aquaria had damaged herself, and lay in her ambulance wondering when she'd be dead, and how it would undoubtedly make Brianna feel.

Kameron stayed up all night in the hospital waiting room. Around her, sleeping band members snored and dozed on sets of seats and on linoleum floors. Their levels of comfort could not be reached by the girl, she was dreaming off far off places where Aquaria wasn't half dead and where the band was as famous as they could've been. She wouldn't ever tell Aquaria until it was much too late to process, but after she had left for the house, Kameron was approached by a talent agent. A name she couldn't reveal until things were much more secure. They wanted the band to do an EP. They wanted them to go to a studio, to a place where magic is made. They wanted to make Aquaria famous. Kameron pushed her head back against the wall and thought about how excited she was to go back to the van and let Aqua know. How happy she was that it seemed all their hard work payed off. How very scared she was to see Aquaria's sheets empty and cold in the bed. It was as if no one had ever slept in them at all. Kameron knew something was wrong immediately. Now, here she was. Sat in a waiting room, wanting nothing more than to be perfectly wrong about the entire thing. Perhaps, she would get up and be fine. Perhaps, Kameron would stop dreaming and would wake up in a cold sweat, go to find Aquaria and cry the whole night through. As fate would have it, neither of these things would become of the whole situation. She simply sat against the wall, drowning her sorrows in ice chips until a young man in a long white jacket approached her slowly. His beard was grown patchy, and this eyes were tired and shrunken inside his head. They looked at each other for a moment before any word were spoke, knowing that neither of them wanted to be here. He reached up his to scratch his eyes before he spoke, and Kameron waited with anticipation for his news. 

"Miss. Palandrani?"   
"Yes?" She leaned forward to meet his sleepy gaze.   
"Well, I have good news and I have bad news." The doctor sighed. "The good news is, she's stable and making a good way to recovery. She's on a steady drip of Narcan. Bad news, somebody already came to see her, so her room won't be available for the next half hour."   
Although Kameron already knew who would be in that room, she felt the need to press on.   
"Who?" She faked. "Whoever it was wasn't with us. Why did you let them in?"   
"Whoever's it was demanded that she wanted to see your friend immediately. That she'd been driving all night and that her and your friend had some kind of relationship. She was adamant, there was nothing we could do."   
"And, I can't see her at all?"   
"Not for another half hour, I'm sorry."   
"Please?"   
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, there's just nothing I can do."   
"Look, she sighed. "I just found my friend passed out and half dead on a stranger's bathroom floor, I've waited three hours, I thought she was going to die. You either let me in there for ten minutes, or I'll be letting myself in there with or without your permission."   
The man looked defeated back at his receptionist, and then back to Kameron. There was a subtle reminder that it was 3am, everyone was tired, and everyone wanted nothing more than to be returned to their creature comforts.   
"Fine." He breathed. "You can have ten minutes."   
"Good, I should think so." She barged past him. Let it be noted, Kameron was not that type of girl to barge, and demand. She was never the type of girl to ask. Aquaria, however, was more important.   
Knowing that the girl sat lonely in her hospital bed, this was enough to drive Kameron through all the crowds in the world. Now, there was a mediator. Brianna was there. Realistically, it could have been anyone. It could have been someone from the house party she was at, or one of Aquaria's old friends from out of town, there was even a slight chance it was one of her parents who had put their past behind them and flew in to see her. Secretly, she knew it was Brianna. She knew deep down the second Brianna found out that Aquaria was in trouble, she made any person she could find with a car to drive her across states to fix the problem with her own two hands. 

The room in which Aquaria was contained looked like something from the movies. It was dull, and lifeless, and writhing in its own filth. The blowing fades of summer dripped sweat down the walls, and Kameron immediately felt unclean. As if there was somewhere else in the world she would rather be. To make things neither worse nor better, Brianna sat lifeless in the room pushed into the darkness away from the bed, dark skinned woman hung over her in shame. That must have been Monet, but she never could have been sure. They didn't even talk. Just shared awkward silences and a slight glance of facing the scariest thing both of them would ever face for the next year and a half.   
"Kameron..." The girl in the bed croaked loudly. Her dry throat swallowed and filled the room with tension. "Kameron, is that you?"  
"You're awake." She paced towards the bed.   
"Kam, I was so scared. I was terrified." She sobbed immediately, desperately clinging to the ends of the taller woman's cardigan. "I thought I was going to die."  
"Aquaria." Kameron calmly patted the girls back gently. The wetness of her tears was sopped up by Kameron's shirt, and the girl couldn't help but feel slightly disgusted.   
"One minute I was looking in the mirror, and the next I was being stabbed with needles. I was terrified, Kam, I didn't know what had happened. You were the only person in the world I wanted to see. You, and the girls, and Brianna."   
Aquaria, body cold and frail, moved in towards Kameron, pushing herself under the girl's wing.   
"And, oh god, Brianna." She trembled. "I did something terrible, Kam, something bad."  
Kameron lifted her friends chin, already knowing underneath what she did and why.  
"What did you do?"   
"That girl. Rose. Remember?"   
"Aquaria. Please just calm down."  
"She was here, with me, at the house. I kissed her. I wanted her so bad, Kam. I wanted to have her in my arms that very second, but I couldn't stop thinking about Brianna."  
"You saw her again?" Brianna practically leapt from her seat in shock, electrified by the anger and resentment.  
"Brianna!" She jolted around.   
"God, can you do nothing right?!" She shouted, startling Monet in her stride. "Since I came with you on this trip, you have done nothing but break my heart. What did I do to you?! I have been nothing but nice to you."  
"Brianna, I know! I never would've told you, you weren't ever supposed to know."  
"So, you broke my heart, and you wanted to lie to me about it?" She began to cry, not realising the severity of the situation Aquaria had put herself in. "Aquaria, you are a horrible person. I wish I'd never met you, and I mean that. You put me through hell, and I could never forgive you. I'm going back home tonight. Don't call, don't text me, don't talk to me ever again."   
Brianna poured the slight ounce of effort she had into storming out the room and into the hallway which had since cleared up since she got there. It was duller than before, with an air of calm about the place she was seconds away from disrupting. Inside, Brianna wasn't really that made. There was only a singular futile projection in telling Aquaria that she was forgiven. Brianna forgave her many days ago, realising that crying on the balcony of her parent's summer home got her nowhere. To think that the whole incident had all happened in a matter of seconds, it could not resonate with her even slightly. It was painful, even, how sickly Aquaria had looked, how her voice was hoarse, and how they had just lost all respect for each other in less time it took than to gain it.

"I don't know why you came." Monet huffed, slowing down from speeding after the girl. "This whole thing was stupid."   
"I know, I just didn't- "   
"Brianna!" A much deeper voice huffed. It was Aquaria, stood there with her vitals dripping off her arm, and head hollow. She was sweating profusely, and looked horrible all over. "Please. Let me talk to you."  
"Aquaria, get back in that room. I don't want to see you."   
"Please."  
"Aquaria d-"  
"Brianna, I'm begging you"  
"No!" She broke, alerting all the hospital staff, few of which ran at Aquaria, clearly distressed. "God, Aquaria! After all you did to me, I'm expected to sit here and talk it out with you! Well, I'm done with you, you've had enough chances. I want you out of my life. I'm leaving tonight."  
Brianna turned away, eyes full of tears and clenched her fist. Inside, a civil of war of love and anger whirred up its own storm on her heart. She couldn't even bare to see her again, yet stopped before the hospital door to wait out the silence.  
"And I never wanna see you in this hospital again, hear me?" She spat, through gritted teeth. "And you know, I think it's awfully selfish of you to overdose days after you ruined my life. I thought you were dead."  
One swift look over the shoulder gave rise to the view of Aquaria stood there, huffing in her own exhaustion and leaning on the arms of a nurse either side of her.   
"Look at what you've done to yourself. Your band. Us. You only think about yourself, that's very obvious to me now."  
"But, I love you, Brianna." She uttered weakly. Kameron stood to the side, chest puffed in response to all the horrible words Brianna had said. She wanted to hurt her, seeing what the words were doing to Aquaria. It was true that Brianna was angry, but it was also true that Aquaria was in desperate need of her support. All of a sudden, it became more about Kameron's rejection than it was ever about Brianna and Aquaria being together.   
"No. You loved me once, and all it got me was pain and strife. You don't love me, because you don't hurt people you love." Brianna shivered. "You don't love me, and I don't love you. That's what it's like now."  
There was a long sigh before she spoke again.   
"Kam, get her cleaned up. I'm heading home tomorrow morning."   
There was a nod, and then she was gone. For a moment, Aquaria had her again. Her perfume lingered the room and if she closed her eyes, she was back there. She was strewn along the bedsheets, with Brianna curled up next to her. She was asleep, and she always looked so pretty when she slept. Aquaria had always said she loved to watch Brianna go, but this time, it was horrible. She had watch her leave without knowing if she was ever going to come back, or if she was going to see her again; and this was the worst torment she had ever experienced.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware Craquaria is dead, but i'll finish this pic if it kills me. Take my garbage.

Brianna did not return to her parents home that faithful summer night, and instead perched Monet and her in the empty corner of the couch of an all too well known tour bus. All night, she thought about how suddenly, there were worlds of space between her and Aquaria. The difference was unfathomable. One day, there are starstruck lovers pandering at each others feet, the next, they are enemies. Whilst she was sure Aquaria didn't hate her, Brianna couldn't help but grasp at the affection she once had. It was gone now. Never to be returned to that little tourbus now bound for Ohio at Kameron's request. Soon, the band would be touring again, Brianna would go home. There would be no place in history for them. It was this she reflected on as she sat next to Monet, awake on the early Sunday morning. All the time she had spent in Aquaria's arms, where would it go? What would happen to it now that it didn't really exist anymore? Perhaps, Aquaria would place it high on a shelf for her to look out when she wanted to be kept out of trouble. Perhaps, it would be used as a catalyst for her many endeavours that would follow and whenever things would go dark, there would be Brianna, naked and pale among the sheets. Aquaria wondered this too with an added sense of guilt; not being able to shake the feeling that she was the reason there was a broken heart lingering her halls like a ghost that just wouldn't leave. She lay there, having only been back on the bus for a day or so, feeling godawful and recovering slowly. Yet, the only thing on her mind was Brianna. The way she cried when she saw Aquaria in bed. The way her eyes couldn't drive themselves away from the drip hanging out of her arm. It was as if she was the sick one, and Aquaria was nothing but her illness driving her slowly to madness. Brianna said she has stayed because she was too weary to make the drive back. Aquaria knew that the morning was slowly rising, as it had been forever, and Brianna was staying to protect her. There was a world of dangerous for Aquaria to meddle with, and Brianna was slowly becoming her guardian angel. Knowing Brianna was sleeping outside was hell enough, it probably would've killed her to know the girl was sat right there, leaning against and yearning for a touch. It was Kameron who was to watch this spectacle from afar, half romanticised and half disgusted by what she had seen, and what they were becoming.   
"You're awake." She chuckled, startling the girl propped against the door. "Door comfy or something?"  
"I don't know how I ended up here. Must've sleep walked, or something." Brianna bluffed. Kameron knelt down beside her, moving a strand of hair from her face. The pain in her eyes was unbearable and present, as if it flooded her whole face.  
"You know, perhaps talking to her wouldn't be such a bad idea." She suggested. "Perhaps you guys aren't going to get your coming of age love story, but at least you get to be friends. Not everyone gets that chance."  
"It's just, all the things I said to her, Kam." She sighed. "They were so mean."  
"You were just hurt, understandably. I can't say I'd have been pretty nice either."  
Brianna had nothing else to say. If she opened her mouth to respond, symphonies about Aquaria would've just tumbled out. Sonnets about her love for her. It would've been so terrifyingly poetic, Brianna quietened down to hide her rupture.   
"Why don't you go make some breakfast, and I'll talk to her." Kameron concluded gently, with a small pat to the cheek. Brianna wanted to plead against her, but couldn't find the energy within her, therefore moved across the kitchen, and watched Kameron enter the room. 

Kameron thought about what she could've saw in that room. There were a lot of possibilities, but what she didn't expect to see was Aquaria, propped up against the window, and looking off into the distance of the bus, which had stopped somewhere in the middle of two sand dunes, mid state.  
"Aqua-"  
"Tell me she was out there." She sighed.  
"Tell me how you're feeling, Aqua."  
"Is she out there?" The girl turned around. Her face stood pale and empty of all presence under the sunlight of the western glow. "Tell me she's not gone home. I have to have her with me. I need to talk to her."  
"She's asleep, Aqua." The girl sighed. "There's nothing you can do as of now."   
Aquaria looked Kameron up and down, and then back out of the landscape. The two stood in silence for minutes at a time until Kameron felt the substantial bravery to sit down on the bed.  
"There's a big black car just up the road." The girl by the window opened the window. "And as for how I'm feeling, I feel like I've been hit by a truck."   
"I know." Kameron leant forward into her own palms, realising how much Aquaria was a burden on the success of this band. She was always the most dramatic, and had the most flare. Kameron always thought Aquaria would have the first of their drug related incidents. However, when she imagined it, it was much later on down the line for them, and she was married to a rich drug lord, and it'd cause them to split up. She didn't see it happening here, now, when her career was cusping and when she had four other people to think about. "That's actually what I wanted to talk about."  
"The car?"  
"No, Aqua." Kameron came, walking to the window to stand by her friends. "When you were taken to hospital…the man in that car, he approached me, Aqua, he wants to make an EP."  
"Well, he's missed his chance." The girl stated, suddenly reaching out to close the blind of the room.   
"What do you mean he's missed his chance?"  
"Well, I'm a recovering overdose patient, I have no material left, and I don't even want to be in a band anymore"  
"You don't?"  
"No. The only thing I want is Brianna."  
"Brianna!" Kameron near shouted. "I love the girl as much as you do, but you can't put her in the way of what you, and I, and both those beautiful girls out there have been working towards."  
"Kameron, look." Aquaria stated, calmly removing a cigarette packet from her pocket. The pack was red, white, and cheap causing Kameron to wince in her footsteps. "I want to marry Brianna. She's the only good thing on this planet."   
"You know what Brianna is, Aqua? She's right. You're selfish. So very selfish." The taller girl seethed, lashing a sweater from the bed into Aquaria's grasp along with a forgotten notion about how frail her body was. She never did say sorry, but Aquaria wasn't sorry, and there was no room for remorse where broken dreams live. "I hope this bring you everything you want."

Kameron yanked the door handle with such vigorous authority, it smacked against the wall of the bus and initiated the turning off all faces to meet her attention. One such giver was an pale white man, tall and built, face crowded with aged stubble and hair dripping with gel.   
"Trouble in paradise?" He chuckled.  
"Brianna, who is th-"  
"I'm Brian Elmer, president of E.L. records." He proceeded with more caution, offering his sweaty hand out for Kameron to loosely shake. "One of my associates approached you at the show."   
"Yes, I remember." She sighed. "I thought you'd be quite a while away yet, your car is still heading down by the desert path."  
"Yes, my driver is circling the area. I told him I wouldn't be long."  
The way he stood soundly in the middle of the place allowed the room to give itself it him. He was smiling, and shaking hands as if he was in some way subservient to , but there was always the gentle recognition that the world bowed to his handsome arrogance.   
"Are you the front-man?" He came again.  
"I'm the front-man." Aquaria exited her room with a slow and fluid motion, shutting the door and breathing in her cigarette with her other hand. She looked horrible, dressed down in her shorts, old shirt and sunglasses on top of her head. Kameron couldn't do much but dismiss her out of bounds.  
"You don't look like much of a front man." The promoter chuckled. Aquaria wasn't being confident, she was being fake. Everyone in the room was driven to sickness with her mere conceit.   
"You can't say that." Brianna chirped in. No one in the focus of the conversation had even noticed her inclusion. In many ways, she was only there for Aquaria. She was going to do anything to get her band on the map, and this wasn't exclusionary to disregarding her healing.   
Aquaria, however, melted calmly into her own undeserved arrogance and held her hand up to silence Brianna, following a fall into the couch.   
"What can I help you with, Mr. Elmer?" She smiled. "Since you're so knowledgeable about what a front man should and shouldn't be?"   
"Aquaria." Kameron barked through her teeth. She had always known the girl was cocky, perhaps even challenging; but she had never seen her this pedantic and horrid to be around.   
"It's quite alright." He pushed both of this hands in his pockets. "I just have this paperwork for you to sign and then I can be on my way."  
The much taller man reached into his open folder and handed a single piece of paper to Monet, who hadn't long woken up and who's presence also didn't register.   
"When for?"  
"Well-" The gentleman tried to exhibit, watching Monet with disdain as she gave the paper no grace.  
"And where? We're on the way to Ohio, I don't have time to come running at your beck and call."  
"Aquaria!" Kameron shouted. "You're being an asshole!"  
The room settled into a quiet anxiety, as Aquaria stood slowly to her feet and wiped her shirt down. It was as if she preparing for something, and stood no less than two inches below the man.   
"You're all like, aren't you?" He smirked, handsomely. "All of you leading members. You all think you're gods gift to the people of earth. You all think you're giving something to me. Let me tell you, sunshine, you aren't. I get my cut of the money whether you're there or you aren't."  
"It's in California." Monet yawned. "A week from now."   
"A week?" Brianna growled from the corner. "We'd have to turn the trip around! Aquaria you have other shows."  
"Well, cancel them." He demanded.  
"We couldn't do it anyway, it's too soon, Aquarias…. she's uhm…" Kameron fumbled over words until Aquaria took over with strife.   
"Not well." She stated. "I'm not well."  
"You look well enough." He stood closer to her as to be directly in her face. "What's up with you?"  
"She's not well." Brianna batted in once again, leaping off the counter to approach the situation. The enemy they all had made was much taller than she was, and seemed to tower over her even from a distance.   
"Yeah, she's-" Kameron started again.  
"I'm recovering from an overdose." Aquaria bit. The word stung the room, and suddenly all eyes were on Brianna, who seemed to wince. Once again, she saw Aquaria's hospital corpse writhing in her room. It was vile to even think of.   
The much larger gentleman suddenly snatched the paper from Monet and held it tightly in his hand.  
"Well, kid." He sighed, shoving his fist towards her chest for her to take the contract. The contact with which they were involved was filled with terror, and the realisation her whole career came to a pinnacle in this moment. "You wanna be famous? There's gonna be a lot more where that came from. This is gonna be second nature to you in no time, that's the reality. People are gonna be offering you all kinds of shit left, right and centre. So, I suggest you grow up if you want any part in this industry at all. Hear me?"  
He took a short breath to regain clarity, and let go of the paper. Aquaria didn't know it yet, but the signing of her soul came along with that moment too. If she could go back and do it all again, she wasn't so sure she would. 

"Just sign that, and have it with you when you come to my office." The large man spoke, and turned around to leave. He walked with purpose towards the door, knowing all eyes were on him and no one was looking away as he graced the exit with his mere steps. Before he could leave, he looked at Brianna. Like everyone knew and everyone thought, she was extremely beautiful and had no business in the company of a couple of band girls from far out north.   
"And I want that song playing." He demanded, not taking his eyes off the small girl. "The one you sang for that beautiful girl."  
Brianna could only take steps towards Kameron, who placed a hand on her back and gave her hope that she was protected if she stayed.   
"And Aquaria, is it?" He turned.  
She nodded in embarrassment.  
"It might be within you best interests to sign your position over to someone more…approachable. Someone more, as they say…financially attractive."   
Aquaria sat calm, knowing the blood of those surrounding her was pooled with rage. She knew men like the one in the suit just before her were nothing if not reactions of the women around him, and so spoke nothing. Said nothing. Left his longing for power silent and empty as it was often when he had no women to torture.   
"Goodbye Mr. Elmer." Kameron let go of Brianna to shoo him out. "I look forward to being in contact with you. Have a safe journey back to California."   
He looked at Kameron, and then past her shoulder to Brianna. She was perfect, and perfect was a word that could juxtapose the whole previous ten minutes of his life.  
"Call me if you have any questions." 

Brianna hobbled up onto the sofa beside Aquaria just to watch him leave. He was horrid, and vile in all ways it was possible for a person to be horrible and vile. Yet, something ingrained shuffled around inside of her. The whisper of attraction, and the feeling of need. She was very fond of his looks, but his true quality was that he was downright horrible, and Brianna couldn't help but feed from it.  
"I hope his plane crashes." Aquaria growled.  
"And what?" Kameron retaliated. "We miss our shot at something big? For one second of your life, Aquaria, could you quit acting like an asshole? Imagine if the other girls saw that! They would've been disgusted with you."  
"He was horrible to me, Kameron, he said-"   
"I know what he said, okay?" She softened her tone. "But, Aquaria, listen to me. If this were any other circumstance, I'd say go for it. But, it isn't. This is our future. And, if you want to be successful, you have to just shut up, sit down, and take it, okay?"  
In light of Kameron's plea for success, Aquaria thought she might argue on many points. The silence of women, the lack of women in music, the suppression of the voices of the women who are bold as she was often. As usual, however, she chose none of her points. She subsided to Kameron's motherly obedience and sat next to Brianna, yet to turn around and watching the car drive up the path. She was sitting down, shutting up, and taking it.  
"Thank you." She added. "Now hand me the contract. I'll check the fine print."   
Aquaria did as she was told, and watched her friend leave before she turned to Brianna.   
"Thank you for having my back."   
"I don't have your back." The blonde lied. "I wanted your band to succeed, not for you, but for the other girls who don't just claim to like me."  
Aquaria took it once more.   
"Okay, well, it meant a lot."   
"I think I should get going." Brianna suddenly stood to her feet, wiping down her pants. "Our car doesn't have much gas, we wouldn't make it a mile up the road even if we tried."   
"Stay here, Brianna." She insisted. "It's an awful long drive back to Seattle."  
"I can't be here with you."  
"Then don't be with me." Aquaria sighed. "Travel in the car. You can have my room. I'll sleep on the couch. Anything for you to stay with me."   
Brianna shot her the glance she always did when something was wrong.  
"Sorry. With me, with them. Brianna, there's girls here who need your support."  
"I can't stay just for that." She reasoned. "I can barely be in the same room as you."  
"Brianna, one of the only things you've asked me since I was up from that night is was I scared." Aquaria paced herself. "And the truth is, yes I was scared. But I wasn't scared I was going to die, or my shows would have to be cancelled. I was scared I wasn't going to get to see you again."   
Brianna couldn't help but be plunged into a simmering pool of cold guilt, watching Aquaria's bleeding heart seep the floor.   
"So, stay, okay?" She asked, finally. "Just till California. And if you still hate me by then, and if my music career goes up in flames, you can move back to Seattle. I won't bother you ever again."  
The shorter girl was terrified of being without Aquaria. She had become so caught up in the whirlwind that there was a constant worry she didn't know who was without it. She had already known what was going to happen the first time Aquaria was asked to stay. All she could do was sit near the door, hoping any minute, she would find to the courage to get up and leave, knowing all too well she probably never would.


End file.
